“What’s the matter, Cali boy? Did you forget the dance moves?” Lily teases, kicking at my leg with those bright pink cowboy boots of hers. “I mean, you did wear your Nike’s after all.”
I look down at my shoes, realizing I’m the only one around not wearing boots. “Don’t hate on my shoes, they’re comfortable.” And have me sticking out like a sore thumb.
“They’re lame. You can’t even get a good stomp with those.”
“Ah, stop giving him a hard time.” Miles comes to my rescue. “It’s not his fault he lost his groove.” He gives me a devilish smirk, letting me know he’s not actually coming to help. He’s only egging her on. Lovely. My sister has her very own hype boy, just what she needs.
“Too bad. You used to be so good at this.” Shetsks, keeping up with the steps perfectly. I admire her for a second, smiling at the person she’s growing into. Sass and all, I love it.
Then I pick up my pace, twisting my body as I feel the music before calling out to her loudly, gaining the attention of the people around us. “You know there’s a saying for this, right?”
“What’s that?” Ma calls back from my right. She’s giving me a challenging smile, daring me to let loose and have a good time, like she sees the old Paxton ready to come out and play.
He’s in here. I just need to channel him. Reaching up, I drag my fingers over the chain that’s hidden under my shirt. The one I always wear. The one Wyatt gave me to match his. I close my eyes, letting my hand fall to the tattoo, repeating the ritual I always do before a game. My superstition.
I can do this.
Opening my eyes, I give my mom a sly grin before cupping my hand over my mouth and yelling out loudly for all to hear, “You can take the boy out of the country, but you can’t take the country out of the boy!” Then I snatch Lily’s bright pink cowboy hat and put it on, matching her pace.
There’s a loud array of cheers from everyone, and I laugh, knocking my hip with Lily’s when we move.
“Y’all heard him!” Ma yells out, earning another round of cheers. I feel the warmth of her hand briefly on mine before it’s gone, giving me the last bit of courage I need to fully let go.
SEVENTEEN
Wyatt
I feel bad.
I shouldn’t, but I do.
Cooper and I may not be together, but I don’t think Paxton knows that. Judging by his reaction, I feel like I shoved a bigfuck youat him when I hugged Cooper.
The thing is, I didn’t even do it intentionally. The relief of seeing my friend, the one who was my salvation for the last three years, outweighed everything else at the moment. Even though I know I shouldn’t be, I’m flooded with guilt as I glance around now, still not seeing Paxton anywhere.
Damn it.
I realize that this is why Dad said I needed to talk my feelings out. Somehow, I’m starting to feel guilty about my friendship with Cooper, but I’ll be damned if I let Paxton ruin it.
“You okay?” Cooper asks, passing me a bottle of beer. We’re alone near the barn, waiting for the music to start before we head over to where everyone else will be.
I sigh, not really sure how to answer. “I’m surviving.”
He cocks a brow, leaning back against the door. “That doesn’t sound reassuring.”
I just shrug, not really sure what else to say. “It’s been a long two weeks.”
We sit in silence as I enjoy the calmness that Cooper gives me. I really did miss him while he was away. Maybe not in the way a boyfriend would miss his partner, but in a way that’s equally special. All the reasons for being apprehensive about him coming back to this shit show are long gone, and all I feel is sweet relief that he’s here.
“Is he behaving?” Cooper’s tone is neutral, not giving me any idea as to how he’s feeling.
“So-so. He’s not doing anything wrong, he just really wants to talk, but I haven’t given him the chance.”
“Do you want to?”
And that’s the million-dollarfuckingquestion right there.
“I honestly don’t know. A part of me thinks I should get closure. You know we never really had that. Everything ended between us on a dime. It was so quick it took me days to process that he was really gone.” I pause, taking a long sip from the bottle before continuing. “Then the other part of me wants him to leave me be. You know it’s been three years. I’ve gotten this far without that closure. So do I really need it?” It feels good to let this out, even though I’m still apprehensive when it comes to talking about this.