Page 15 of Always Mine

“The same thing it meant two months ago when you asked,” I snap, immediately feeling bad, but Ember has a way of pissing me off. Especially when she keeps coming back to this topic. “Cooper is my friend. More than that, he’s mybestfriend. He’s been there for me throughout every shitty moment I’ve struggled through the last three years. The one who didn’t leave when I tried to push him away.” I’m tense, feeling backed against a wall.

He’s the best, and I really don’t deserve him.

“Because he likes you.” She’s not telling me anything I don’t already know, but I still feel like shit about it because I’ll never be able to give myself to him like that. “And you like him.”

Ugh, why won’t she stop?

“Is that a question or a statement?” My voice is monotone, hoping she’ll take the hint, but she doesn’t. She never does.

“Humor me.”

I glare up at the afternoon sky, wishing a tornado would fall from the clouds so I could end this maddening conversation. We will go round and round in a circle, and she still won’t get it. “Of course I do. My feelings fall more on the platonic side, though, whereas I know it’s different for him.”

“Give him a chance, maybe your feelings will change over time.”

She must be the most infuriating human being on the face of the earth. Inhaling deeply, I let it out slowly, leveling her with a cool expression. “You’re never going to get it.”

She nods and stands firm, waiting for me to explain. “Not unless you tell me.”

“There’s nothing to tell. We’re friends. He means a lot to me. I love him, I want him in my life. He’s one of the most important people I have, but that’s where it ends. I can’t date him. I can’t be with him the way you’re suggesting. It’s not on the cards for us.” It’s not on the cards formeever again.

She lets out an exasperated noise, throwing her hands up. “But why?!”

My frustration hits its peak, and I explode, letting all the thoughts and emotions swimming around inside of me spew out, knowing I’m going to regret it later. “Because I gave my heart to Paxton when we were kids, and by the time he gave it back, the damn thing was so shattered it couldn’t be pieced back together. Because every time I think about letting anyone else in like that, it physically makes me sick.” My voice cracks, and I look away, unable to stand the sadness that has taken over her expression.

Because at the end of the day, even after everything, I still love Paxton. He was my first in every way and that’s not something I will ever get over.

“Wyatt—”

“I don’t want to talk about this again,” I cut her off, sternly, pulling my sunglasses from the front pocket of my flannel and sliding them on, needing a shield right now.

“When’s the last time you talked to Paxton?” she asks, but it's the wrong damn question. Talking about him makes my entire world feel shaky and my stomach sick. Of all people,sheshould know that.

“Youreallydon’t quit.” I twist around to leave, but she snags my arm, stopping me before I get too far.

She pulls me back to look at her. “I’m sorry.” Her eyes are pleading with me, and even though I want to storm away, want to shout and scream, I stay and let her finish whatever it is she needs to say—despite knowing it will hurt even more. “I don’t want to hurt you, but I think you need closure.”

The laugh that explodes from me sounds manic. She can’t be serious. “Closure? We broke up, he left, I think that pretty much closes it.”

“You really believe that? I can’t imagine being with someone my whole life, and then watching them disappear overnight like they never existed.”

Her words destroy me. She’s making the world feel quaky like I’m going to come undone.

“Well, I guess it’s good that it didn’t happen to you, then,” I bite through clenched teeth. She’s about to cross the line, and I need to get away from her before it gets to that point.

“Wyatt, I’m serious.” Her genuine concern is the only reason I haven’t lost it. But it's a very near thing.

“So. Am. I,” I grit out before exhaling through my nose. I should calm down. I’m angry, and deep down, I know she means well, but when it comes to Paxton I can’t think rationally. He fucks me up, has for as long as I can remember, and her prying is killing me, right now. “Listen, I love you. You’re my sister, and I know you care, but seriously, I can’t keep having these conversations with you. It hurts, and you're pushing too far. My relationship with Cooper is always gonna be purely friendship, and Paxton…” I trail off, looking away from her. “He’ll always be just a painful memory. I have no future with either of them, and I really need you to accept that.” I tug my arm from her grasp, ready to get the hell out of here.

“Okay, I’m sorry. I’ll drop it.”

I nod at her apology, still seething, but grateful that she finally gets the hint. My phone rings too, which is a definite end to the conversation.

Thank fuck.

Digging my phone from my pocket, I peep my mom’s name on the screen. “It’s Mama, probably wondering where I’m at. I need to go.”

Ember chews on her bottom lip, clearly not wanting to let me leave but knowing she doesn't have a choice. “Alright. I’ll see you tomorrow night?”

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