Page 85 of Always Mine

He nods, shifting a bit and breaking our hand contact and I feel the loss instantly. “Do I need to worry?”

Dread. That’s all I’m feeling right now. Because, no, he doesn’t have to worry. This isn’t going to end up like last time, when I ruined the greatest thing to ever happen to me. I’m gonna fight for this—for him—but it’shisreaction that concerns me. “I don’t want to lose you, so I’m hoping neither one of us has to worry.”

He bites down on his lip and I want to rewind back to the good time we were having moments ago.

“Tell me, please,” he practically begs, taking a step forward as if seeking comfort in me “The suspense is going to drive me out of my mind.”

My heart is pounding as fear plagues me. I hope he’s still willing to make this work like he was back then.

“I have to go back sooner than expected,” I say, ripping off the Bandaid.

I watch as he shudders, eyes falling closed briefly as he chomps down on his bottom lip. “When?”

Sadly, this is the part that kills me.

“January eighth,” I say on an exhale, unable to breathe in as I wait for him to respond.

“So, two weeks?” He nods, reaching up to discreetly wipe his eyes. “That’s soon.”

Fuck, I hate this. “I know, baby. Please don’t cry.”

I reach for him, taking his hand again, just needing the skin contact. I know it comforts me, getting to hold him like I should have last time, but I don’t know if it’s having the same effect on him. He just looks sohurt. Not because of anything in particular, but because of what this might mean for us.

“No, it’s okay. You being here was just a temporary thing. I knew that deep down,” he sniffs, turning to give me a watery smile. “It’s okay.”

I hold tightly to his hand, never wanting to let him go. Watching his emotions only brings out mine. I want to hold him close and keep him sheltered from everyone who may try to hurt him. Including me.

“My being here may be temporary, but what I want with you is not. I know I messed up in the past, but this won’t be like last time. I want us to try. We can do long distance, travel when needed… I know we had planned this all out before, but we can do it again.” My tone is hopeful and I’m pleading with my eyes for him to agree.

His lip wobbles and I watch as he tries and fails to keep the tears at bay. “Fuck, sorry. I’m trying to keep it together.”

“Shh,” I soothe, tipping his chin to look at his face better. “I know this is hard. I hate it, I thought we’d have til the spring before I had to go back for training. I wanted us to have more time to figure it all out.”

He nods, kissing my hand before pulling back to wipe his face again. “So what changed in California?”

“My whole schedule. My coach called, and the university is letting me come back a semester early, so I don’t fall a whole year behind. I’ll be able to graduate after football season next year, rather than the following May.” I shrug. “I get it, and I’m glad to not have to add a whole year to my plans, but it still sucks. I don’t want to leave you yet.”

I have so many mixed feelings right now, but as long as I have him, I know it’ll all be okay. It has to be. Wyatt and I have to make it through this.

“How would we make this work? I mean, it’s so far and last time—” His breath hitches as he tries and fails to get the words out.

I grab his face again, needing him to look at me. I can’t help but touch him. I need this connection, the reassurance that we’re going to be okay. “This won’t be like last time,” I tell him sternly, hoping to drive my point home. “I fucked up so badly. I know that, but this won’t be anything like that.”

He smiles sadly, hands coming up to rest over mine. “How do you know? You don't know if it'll work out.”

“Technically, no, but that’s the same for anyone. But I’m telling you how I’m feeling, and after everything, letting you escape me won’t be an easy feat.” I lean in to press a gentle kiss to his lips. “I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone, and I swear with everything I have inside of me that I will do my damndest to make sure we get through this. You’re my whole world, Wyatt Clayton. My damn life, my soulmate. Without you, nothing makes any sense. I need you. I’ve always needed you. Please, try with me. Let's work through this together.”

His lips turn up in a grin and happy tears stream down his face. He’s so beautiful. The best thing I’ve ever seen. “I never thought I’d ever hear you tell me that again.”

“God, I’m so sorry for hurting you. So incredibly sorry.”

“Please, stop apologizing. I don’t want to hear it anymore.” He steals a kiss, eyes glistening with so much emotion when he pulls back. “I want to make this work too. I want to be with you.”

I wouldn’t be able to stop the tears from pouring down my face if I tried.

“I love you.” My voice cracks all the happiness, devotion, and lingering anxiety breaking free from me. This is my dream.

“I love you too.”

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