Page 72 of Always Mine

Just thinking his name puts a smile on my face. I love him. So much. I finally feel like we’re at a good place, and no matter what happens in the future, we can make this work. I’m no longer that eighteen-year-old kid full of doubt and uncertainty. We are, and always have been a team, and we can get through anything together. I just needed to have more faith in, not only myself, but also in him too.

“You seem happy,” my mom says, coming to sit beside me on the couch. We’re currently at Wyatt’s family house having Christmas dinner. It’s the first one we’ve all had together since before the breakup, and our families are all having the best time reminiscing.

“Ifeelhappy,” I tell her, realizing how true those words are. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt like this and I’m relishing in it.

She reaches over, brushing my hair back affectionately. “I’m glad. You deserve that. You both do.”

My face breaks into a grin and my eyes sweep the room, involuntarily looking for Wyatt. I find him easily, talking to Ember near the kitchen doorway. He’s laughing at whatever she’s saying, head thrown back, and my heart melts a little. He’s so relaxed, happy, and even though he’s been like this a lot lately, the image of him breaking apart in front of me will forever haunt my brain.

“It feels surreal,” I mutter, turning to look at her. “I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, or to wake up from this dream I’ve found myself in.” Almost like I don’t deserve him, or any of the good feelings I’m wrapped up in right now.

“Why are you frowning?” Ma questions, poking the furrowed spot between my brows, causing them to relax.

Smiling to reassure her, I give her a one-shouldered shrug. “My head is filled with a lot of doubt. I didn’t even realize I was frowning,” I say honestly.

She makes a thoughtful noise, fingers strumming on her thighs as she gives me the mom look. “Care to share?” What she’s really saying is ‘You better tell me what’s going on in your head or else.’

Realizing I have no choice but to tell her the truth, I relax fully on the couch, preparing to be here for a while. “I’m worried I’ll mess up somehow and ruin the progress we’ve made.”

“After everything that you’ve been through—losing him and fighting to get him back—do you really think you’re going to let anything ruin how far you’ve come?”

“Not intentionally, but it could happen, you know?” I sigh, reaching up and rubbing my neck anxiously. “Like it’s the possibility of him slipping through my fingers more than anything. I’m worried I’ll wake up from this dream and find myself back in my Cali apartment. It’s silly but the reality feels too good that I think I’m making this all up in my head.”

I turn from my ma to look at Wyatt once more, needing to see him, to verify for the hundredth time since I’ve been here today that he’s real, and this is actually happening. I’m hit with a wash of relief when I see him before I’m suddenly hit with a sharp sting to my side.What the fuck?I jerk, looking down, expecting to see a crab hanging onto me or something but I’m met with the sight of Ma’s hand as she pulls back. My eyes fly up to meet her sparking ones, and I tilt my head in confusion while rubbing the aching spot. “Ouch. Why in the world did you do that?”

Her eyes are dancing with delight and she chuckles, resting back against the couch. “Still think it’s a dream?”

I blink, realization dawning on me. Did she really… I can’t.

Gasping, I reach over and knuckle her thigh gently. “You’re wrong for that on so many levels.” And incredibly damn snide.

“I was trying to reassure you.” She shrugs as if she didn’t almost take a chunk out of my skin.

“Well, you did. Got it, not dreaming,” I mumble, rubbing the sore spot again. “You have talons for fingernails.”

She laughs, wiggling her fingers at me. “You’d do well to remember that. I’m dangerous.”

“You’re something alright.”

“In all seriousness, I know it’s hard,” she says a few moments later, eyes now filled with understanding. “I’m sure you’re terrified and I’d bet he is too. You’ve both been through so much to get here with all the highs and lows… That’s life though. Anything can happen and you never know what to expect.”

She pauses, looking at my dad, who’s sitting at the dining table with Wyatt’s dad, a fond smile on her face. I don’t know what she’s thinking, but I do know love when I see it and her expression says it all. Looking at me again, she gives my thigh a squeeze. “I’m not going to lie and say you guys won’t ever have another problem because that’s not realistic. Everything can’t be all rainbow sparkle sunshine from here on out, you know? Things get hard in every relationship, but once you get through them together that only helps to build your relationship. Solidifies your bond, if that makes sense.”

She’s right. I know she and Dad have had their share of issues over the years, but they’ve always managed to come back on top. “I know. I need to be more realistic about that as a whole. Not going to lie, the thought of even a minor disagreement is terrifying to me right now. I’m sure it’ll fade as time goes on.” Or at least I hope it does. We deserve the best and I want us to have that without any residual fear between us.

“It will.” She nods, pulling back from me. “But for now, don’t let it spoil what you guys are fixing. You’ve both spent way too much time being sad or barely getting by. Take this time to enjoy each other again.”

God, what would I do without her? I’m so thankful to have such accepting parents. Hell, to have as much acceptance as I’ve had, full-stop. From the very beginning and with so many people around us, they’ve always been supportive. It’s something that I never take for granted, especially after hearing some horror coming-out stories from some friends of mine in Cali.

I’ll never understand how people can abandon their own children because of the gender of the person they like. It’s like saying, I’ll disown you if you date a mechanic instead of a doctor.... I can’t make sense of it. We don’t choose to love like we do. I can say from experience that loving Wyatt was never even a question. He was always my truth even when I didn't know it.

I give her a smile, throwing my arm around her shoulder and pulling her into my side for a hug. “Thanks, Ma.”

“Always, you know that.”

When I pull back, I can’t help but grin as one thing she said registers in my mind. “Rainbow sparkle sunshine?”

She wags her eyebrows, that cheeky smile of hers bigger than ever. “It was good, right?”

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