Page 124 of The Sadist and the Brat

“I know he likes being with me,” Sadie said. “That’s obvious. But I don’t know what hewants.”

“What do you want?”

“I don’t know that, either,” Sadie admitted. “Mom, what if he breaks my heart?”

“If he breaks it, he’s not worthy of it,” Jennifer said briskly. Then her voice softened. “But what if he doesn’t?”

“I don’t know if I can risk it,” Sadie choked out, stunned to find herself near tears.

“Darling girl,” Jennifer smiled. “You’ve already done that.”

While Sadie sat reeling from that revelation, Jennifer added a layer of lettuce to the mustard-soaked bread, slapped the sandwich together, then picked up the plate and hurried out. She was back in moments, rounding the counter to perch on the stool next to Sadie’s. “Now. I’m going to tell you something, and I want you to listen to me.”

Sadie scrubbed her hands over her face. “Okay.”

“All your life, you’ve been afraid of getting hurt. Not physically,” she amended. “Scrapes and bruises, even broken bones, they never bothered you. But emotional hurt…that’s a different story.”

Sadie stared at her hands. “I’m just being careful. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Except you’re not careful, you’re avoidant,” her mother corrected. “And there is something wrong with that, especially when it keeps you from letting yourself be loved.”

“I let myself be loved,” Sadie protested, feeling hollow.

“By family, by friends,” Jennifer agreed. “But we’re not talking about them, are we?”

Sadie’s vision blurred. “It’s hard, Mom.”

“I know it is.” Jennifer leaned in to press her forehead to her daughter’s. “It’s the hardest thing ever, to open your heart to someone. But I promise you, it’s worth it.”

Sadie sniffed. “Really?”

“So worth it,” Jennifer insisted. “Does Jack get you? I meanreallyget you.”

Sadie knuckled away a tear. “Yeah, he does.”

“Do you get him?”

“I think I do.”

Jennifer lifted her hand to brush at Sadie’s wet cheeks. “And the sex is good?”

It was a relief to roll her eyes and laugh. “Jesus, Mom.”

“Sexual compatibility is important,” Jennifer insisted. “For example, if your father didn’t like to eat pussy, we wouldn’t have lasted a month.”

“What the hell, Mom?” Brian cried from the kitchen doorway, a look of abject horror on his face.

“Oh, grow up, Brian,” Jennifer said, annoyed. “It’s not like you’ve never eaten pussy before.”

Sadie nearly choked when Brian went red, then white, then red again.

“And if you haven’t,” Jennifer went on, “then I feel sorry for all your girlfriends.”

Brian just stared, mouth agape. “What iswrongwith you two?” he wailed, turned on his heel, and fled.

“He’ll be fine,” Jennifer said with a dismissive wave as Sadie continued to laugh. “And if he tries that ‘I can’t look at you bit’ on me, well, I just won’t feed him.”

Sadie shook her head, still laughing. “I love you, Mom.”

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