Page 4 of Forever Yours

Fallon decided to throw an end-of-summer party, and everyone was still amped up from the races at the Fields earlier. It seemed the entire student population of both Highland High and Fallen Brook came out to watch Ryder race for the last time. We were heading to CU on Monday. I should be looking forward to it. College. Freedom. A new life with new experiences.

But I wasn’t.

I sat back and gazed up at the stars, ignoring all the people coming and going, stumbling or dancing, kissing or dry humping, drunk or high. Maybe a little of everything. The music was cranked to eleven, the pounding bass thumping and shaking the window glass of the mansion. Everyone was laughing too loudly or talking too loudly in order to be heard over the crappy dance song that screeched out of inground speakers littering the expansive backyard of the Montgomery estate. A few of the crazier partiers were running around the back gardens naked. Some were actually fucking in the pool. Would definitely avoid dipping a toe in the water after seeing that. Inside was much worse, which was why I was sitting out here.

A shooting star streaked across the sky, and I tracked it until it flickered out. Weren’t they supposed to be good luck or grant wishes or something? I couldn’t recall. Closing my eyes, I sent a wish up to the night sky. More like a plea or a prayer. Everyone I loved and cared for was hurting, and I felt fucking helpless.

Jayson had been drinking heavily, using alcohol to numb his pain. Like Julien, he blamed himself for what happened to Liz and her family. For kicking her out that night and the things he said to her in the heat of the moment.

Ryder had shut down and spent the entire summer at his dad’s garage. Tonight was the first time I’d seen him since April.

Julien refused to sleep at his house anymore and stayed most nights with me or at Ryder’s. He said looking out his window and seeing Liz’s dark bedroom hurt too much.

Dad had been working his police contacts to find where Liz had been taken. So far, nothing had come from his numerous inquiries.

Life felt like it was in limbo, teetering precariously on a ledge that overlooked a bottomless chasm. There was no joy to anything anymore. Only tears and heartbreak. And I could do nothing but watch the man I loved and needed more than my next breath wither into a shell of emptiness and depression right before my eyes.

“You seem lost in serious thought,” Jessi said as she dropped down beside me and rested her head on my shoulder.

“Saw a shooting star,” I replied, and she tipped her head back to take in the night.

She’d be leaving for NYU on Wednesday. I was going to miss the hell out of her. Jessi had been my person for a long time. My dearest friend. She was my version of who Liz was to Julien. We first met at summer camp years ago. Ours was an instant connection. Like knowing like, I guess you could say. Two gay teens who banded together to survive a world they didn’t understand how to navigate yet. I don’t know what I would’ve done back then if I had never met her.

“Have to say, Fallon throws some wild parties, but this one is extra debauched.”

“Yep.” I popped that ‘p’ good.

Jessi snuggled into my side, and we looked up at the night sky, enjoying our slice of solitude among the chaos around us.

Her hand splayed over my abdomen; my arm wrapped around her shoulders. Our intimacy wasn’t sexual. Never had been. It was more about the comfort of friendship than anything else.

I kissed the top of her head. “If I don’t say it enough, I love you to the moon and back,” I told her.

I was feeling overly sentimental tonight. I’d blame it on the weeks of sleepless nights worrying over my boyfriend, and the fact that tonight would be the last time I saw her for a while.

Jessi’s small hand cupped my face and pulled it down until our eyes met. She had recently put purple streaks in her jet-black hair that made her look badass. Like a rock-and-roll pixie.

“You, Elijah Barnes, will forever own my heart.”

“Deidre may get jealous,” I teased, referring to her girlfriend.

Jessi rolled her big, brown eyes, the purple glitter eyeshadow she painted on her lids sparkling under the patio lights.

“Good thing I have a very talented tongue. She’ll forgive me anything as soon as I make her come.”

Shocked that my sweet friend would say something so dirty, I choked on air that I accidentally sucked in too quickly. “Not the visual I want to have right now.”

“Pah-lease. You and Julien probably do—”

“Not discussing my sex life with you or anyone else.”

Jessi giggled and nipped my shoulder with her teeth.

I shoved her sideways. “Ow! Freaky little rabid chihuahua.”

“Hey!” She smacked my chest. “Take that back.”

“Nope. Fits the hair.”

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