Page 21 of Forever Yours

I shrugged. “Kind of. More excited to see you play.”

Julien and I had one class together, Calculus II, at eight in the morning every Tuesday and Thursday. With tomorrow being a game day and the start of the semester, his schedule would be hectic, and I wouldn’t see him until Fallon’s frat party tomorrow night.

Julien tapped my right arm, reminding me to hydrate. He’d slipped one of those hydro sleeves that look like mini backpack watches onto my wrist before we headed out this morning.

“Want to see if the guys would like to go to the beach? We could pack a cooler and spend the day there.”

“Is that what we’re doing?”

Julien nipped my ear. “Sunday Funday.”

“I’ll need to stop by the dorms and grab a change of clothes.”

I also needed to charge my phone. And my laptop, since I would be using it to take class notes.

He bit my shoulder, and I grunted at the sting that was more pleasure than pain.

“Wear mine.”

I gestured down at myself. “I already am.”

He licked the skin he bit. “I like seeing you in my clothes.”

I liked wearing them. I also liked smelling him on me all day. Since we started dating, I had stolen several of his shirts and would sleep in them on the nights we weren’t sharing the same bed. It helped lessen the loneliness of missing him. And there had been a lot of those moments that month while he was here, and I was still at home.

“Do you think Jay will be up for it? He’ll be hung over,” I reminded him.

Julien dropped his forehead to my back and tightened his hold around my waist. “I don’t know what to do. How to help him.”

Oh, the irony. I could say the same about him.

“Then stop enabling him,” I said and regretted it immediately when his arms tensed and he went ram-rod rigid.

I knew right then that our beautiful morning was ruined. Last night and this morning had been so good. Julien had been acting more like himself. He was happy. I was happy. We were together watching a gorgeous sunrise. And I had to go and open my big, judgmental mouth.

And then I thought, fuck it. What I told him was the truth. How many times had Julien been right alongside his brother, drinking their grief and guilt away until they felt nothing? Someone needed to step up and say something. Anything. What happened to Liz was not their fault. And I was getting sick and tired of watching the people I loved spiral out of control. Tired of being the one left responsible to clean up their messes.

Julien’s arms slid away, and he abruptly stood up, leaving me cold as soon as the morning air hit the back of my T-shirt. The sun was behind him and created an ethereal halo around his profile, kissing the tips of his dark mahogany hair. Even angry and glaring down at me, he was stunningly beautiful.

“Jay is my brother, not yours. Liz was—you know what? I’m not going to argue about this with you now. Can’t we just enjoy one fucking day together without bringing in all the other shit?”

Without another word, he turned and began jogging back down the hill.

Julien running away was a perfect metaphor that represented the last four months.

Another perfect metaphor? Me following silently right behind him.

I plowed my toes through the fine-grained sand, deepening the pit I had dug to reveal the tiny, colorful coquina shells that lived underneath the shallow surface near the shoreline. As soon as the wave receded, the clams inside each one poked their “feet” out and buried themselves once again until they disappeared completely.

After hours of sun and salt spray, my skin was suffering. Even with SPF 70, I knew I was sunburned. Curse of being blond-haired with fair skin. However, it was the peeling that I hated more than looking like a human lobster for a few days.

Since Wrightsville was closer to the CU campus, we packed Ryder’s Hellcat and headed to the main beach access that had a large parking lot. For the end of August, the beach was surprisingly empty. But the peace and quiet was exactly what we needed. Come tomorrow, we would officially be “adulting,” each of us mired with our own set of responsibilities. Classes. Coursework. Julien would have soccer. I would hopefully have a part-time job as a student swim instructor. Fingers crossed. I planned to send in my online application tonight.

Grabbing a handful of wet sand, I squeezed it through my clenched fist, making a dribble mound that resembled a poop emoji more than it did the sandcastle I was attempting to build.

I glanced to my left when I heard the muffled crunch of sand over the white noise of crashing waves. Ryder’s long shadow crept closer, then changed angle when he dropped down beside me.

“Where are the wonder twins?” I leaned forward to peer around him.

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