Page 15 of The Second Chance Year

Now I know this was the beginning of the end for me and Alex.

But it’s my second chance year, and it doesn’thaveto be the end. As Zach’s shocking, obnoxious words come back to me, I realize I have a chance to do it differently.

I take a deep, cleansing breath. I count backward from ten. I repeatI will not cause a scene, I will not cause a scenein my head like a mantra. But you know what? It’s not as easy as it sounds. Because I really, really want to cause a scene. Zach’s smug face is making my skin crawl, and his smirky smile is just begging for me to reach over and—

I spin in my chair and turn to Alex. And his words come back to me, too.

I wish you’d talked to me.

“Honey, can we go outside for a second?” Before he can respond, I slide off my stool, grab his hand, and drag him through the crowded bar toward the door.

“Jeez, Sadie,” Alex says when we’re out on the sidewalk. “What’s so important that you couldn’t just tell me inside?” Despite his fleece vest, Alex is obviously freezing, but my anger warms me.

“You’re not going to let Zach get away with that, right?”

“Get away with what?” He looks confused. “The hiring thing? That’s why we’re out here in the cold? I’m sure he doesn’t mean it. He was just joking.”

I’m taken aback by this. Last time around, Alex said he agreed with me, he just didn’t like how I delivered the message, loudly and in front of his colleagues. So, this time, I’ve done exactly what he asked me to do. I’ve pulled him aside to talk to him in private. I’ve kept my voice calm and even. I’ve made sure my bad behavior doesn’t overshadow Zach’s.

So, where is Alex’s righteous indignation?

I blow out a breath, and it turns to frost in the air. “Hedidmean it. But even if it was just a joke, does that make it any better? Is discriminating against women supposed to be funny?”

Alex crosses his arms over his chest. “No, of course not.”

“So, you’ll talk to him about it? You’ll make sure he hires the best person for the job? Regardless of her marriage prospects or childbearing abilities?” I can’t help it; my voice gets a little snarky at that last part.

He holds out his hands, palms up. “I’m not on the hiring committee. It’s not up to me.”

My shoulders stiffen. Is he really trying to tell me that he can’t do anything? “But you could at least have a conversation.Or you could talk to Dave about it.” I pause, hearing the resentment in my voice. Maybe if I add a question at the end, it might not sound so abrasive. According to my mother, abrasive isthe worst. “Can’t you?”

Alex sighs. “It’s not as easy as you make it sound.” He looks past me at the taxis zipping by on the street. I wonder if he’s wishing he could hop in one and get himself out of this conversation.

None of this is how I expected this to goat all. I pace across the sidewalk and then swing back around to face him. “If you don’t do anything, you’re protecting that old boys’ club culture. If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem.”

At this, Alex cocks his head and flashes me a grin, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Can I get that printed on a T-shirt?” His body language is channelingAw-shucks, give me a break, I’m a nice corn-fed Midwestern guy. I’ve seen this work for him a million times. When we showed up at an off-Broadway play and realized we forgot our tickets at home. When he was trying to get a table at La Petite Poule and they were booked for weeks in advance.

But now he’s using his charms onme.

I press my palms to my frozen cheeks. Last time around, Alex said he agreed with me. I’ve known him for three years and he’s never, ever acted like Zach. Is it possible he’s just not getting it? I try a different tack. “Think how this kind of thing affects me. I created these amazing lavender lemon tarts today, and the Earl Grey fig cake yesterday, and the basil ricotta macarons the day before that. You know who gets credit for all my hard work because I’m only an assistant? The executivepastry chef whose lemon tarts taste like hand soap. And you know why he has that job, and I don’t? Let me introduce you to my friend,Dick.”

Alex’s eyes soften, and he grabs my hand, pulling me toward him. “I know you deserve that job. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to make a joke of it.” He wraps an arm around me.

I push a hand against his chest, searching his eyes. “The woman Zach interviewed—whoever she is—she might deserve the job, too.”

He nods, his face earnest. “I hear what you’re saying, and tomorrow I’ll talk to Zach.”

“Dave might be open to discussing this,” I suggest gently. Alex has always had a close relationship with his boss. Dave took an interest in him at a networking event while Alex was still in grad school, and he was a big part of the reason Alex ended up on Wall Street.

“Maybe,” Alex says slowly. His gaze slides to the door of the bar where three men in suits and wool coats step out onto the sidewalk, chuckling over someone’s joke. I flinch as a couple of choice words drift my way. Those guys are not corn-fed Midwesterners and I’m pretty sure the cocks they’re referring to have nothing to do with farm animals. As they head down the sidewalk, Alex looks back at me. “There’s this whole culture in finance, and I’m still learning how to navigate it.”

“I know,” I say, squeezing his hand. The lines around his mouth deepen, and I’m sure he’s thinking of his dad right now. Alex had always meant to get his graduate degree and then move back to Wisconsin to work in his dad’s financial advising firm. But in the second-to-last semester of his MBA program, his dad died of a heart attack. All of a sudden, Alex’s momfound herself alone and in need of money, so she sold her half of the business to her deceased husband’s partner. Just like that, there was no family business for Alex to go back to.

When Dave and Alex hit it off over cocktails a few months later, I know Alex saw more than just an opportunity for a job. He saw an opportunity for a father figure.

The wind picks up, blowing through my dress, and Alex pulls me in for a hug. I decide not to push this anymore. I’ve managed to get my point across without making a scene, and Alex promised to talk to Zach. I won’t have a lonely cab ride home or hear the coldness in Alex’s voice tomorrow. And in a few months, Alex and I will still be together.

Everything is turning out exactly as I wished.

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