Page 87 of Your Fault

“Nicholas.”

A half hour later, my car was loaded up. I couldn’t believe my mother had tried to extort me, especially using my relationship with Nicholas. She had gone into her room after the argument and hadn’t come back out. I didn’t think she even realized how serious I was. But I was mad. I couldn’t care less about leaving the Leister house, and I’d be perfectly happy never to return. There was only one Leister I cared about, and to hell with my mother trying to come between us.

I’d find a solution: I’d get the money, even if I had to work nights.

I called Nick from my car, still sitting in the garage. I’d been trying to get a hold of him ever since my mother had fled to her bedroom. Finally he picked up.

“I’m sorry, Freckles. I thought I’d be back by now, but it didn’t happen.”

Perplexed, I asked, “What do you mean? Where are you?”

“I had to fly to San Francisco this morning. They’ve put us on a super-important case. I thought I’d be able to get back tonight, but it looks like I’m stuck here for a few days.”

My heart ached. He was gone… He wouldn’t be there to give me a hug and tell me everything would be okay. That pain gave way to something harder to bear, and everything I’d been suppressing burst out all at once.

“You’re in San Francisco, and you didn’t even call to tell me?”

“I thought I’d be back today! It didn’t seem like such a big deal. Why are you shouting at me?”

I was seeing red. “What if I went to some other city without telling you? What would you have done?”

I knew I was taking everything that had just happened out on him, but I couldn’t help it just then; I needed it. I’d left everything to go stay with him, and he wasn’t even going to be there to greet me and help me with my bags. He wasn’t there. He wasn’t there, and that was all that mattered to me!

“Okay, goddammit, I get it, but they didn’t give us any advance warning!”

“Us?” I asked, a knot forming in my throat.

Nicholas went silent for a few seconds.

“You’re with her, aren’t you?”

“She’s my fellow intern, that’s all.”

Uncontrollable jealousy clouded my reasoning. “So that’s why you didn’t tell me… You knew how pissed I’d be!”

I heard him curse on the other end of the line. “Could you calm down? You’re acting like a child.”

“Screw you,” I said and hung up.

I tossed my cell in the seat next to me and punched the steering wheel, feeling like a fool. Was this what was going to happen from now on? He’d go to San Francisco with Sophie, and I’d stay in his apartment, broke and not going to school?

Fuck! Everything had gotten so complicated so fast, and the fear of missing out on college made me cry. I hadn’t hesitated an instant to choose Nicholas, but my mother was right about onething: he was almost five years older than me… He’d be working soon, he’d inherit his father’s business, but what about me?

I had nothing, and I didn’t want Nicholas paying my way through life. If I stayed in that apartment, I’d miss out on so much. I wouldn’t have my independence. I was sure Nick would help me if I asked, but how could I face myself every morning knowing my boyfriend was paying for my home and my studies?

I’d always been independent, and if my mother hadn’t married Will, I’d have just applied for a scholarship somewhere… But now, I was the stepdaughter of a rich big shot, and no one was going to give me a cent. College wasn’t cheap. Even if I worked like a dog, I was going to end up in debt up to my neck.

As my anger faded, giving way to anxiety, I realized that however much I wanted to live with Nick, however much I wanted to remain always by his side, wake up next to him and all those other things, I couldn’t until I was truly independent. My mother was right: even if I was technically an adult, if I didn’t have money to start my own life, she would always have the last word.

From an outsider perspective, it was crazy to go live with him. His mortgage was seven thousand a month! I’d thought that was crazy when he’d told me. I couldn’t even pay a fourth of that; the mere thought of it nauseated me…

My phone rang and rang. I looked at it. Endless missed calls, some from Nick, some from my mom.

But the answer was obvious: Nick would have to wait…at least for now.

I got out of the car and went up to my room. I dug through my top drawer until I found my admission letter and the information about registering for the dorms. I was supposed to confirm my reservation a week ago. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. What the hellwould I do now? I sat on the bed feeling my heart pounding as fear overtook me.

Calm down. There’s got to be a solution.

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