Page 80 of Your Fault

I looked at myself in the mirror, frustrated. I wasn’t going to get dressed up for that stupid dinner. Forget that.

I took off my T-shirt with the holes in it and threw it on the floor while I looked around for something so I wouldn’t have to unpack the bags strewn all over the walk-in closet. I ended up deciding on some tight black jeans, simple, the kind you’d wear for a casual night out, and a white T-shirt that saidI??Canada.

I grinned. I was sure the senator would love it.

I let my hair down and pulled it back into a ponytail, washed my face, and put on lip liner. That was as fancy as I was going to get that night. Sophie could doll herself up all she wanted; I was pretty in anything…or that’s what my grandmother told me, anyway.

When I went downstairs, still in a shit mood, I heard an unfamiliar man’s voice. Five people—William, my mother, Nick, Sophia, and her father—were standing around the bar in the living room chitchatting while Will poured drinks. They looked like something out of a magazine: tall, distinguished, elegant. Looking at my shoes, I felt like an intruder.

My mother saw me, and her eyes widened as she noticed my T-shirt, but before she could send me back upstairs, Will noticed me and welcomed me with a smile.

“Noah, come on in. I want to introduce you to an old friend from school. Riston, this is my stepdaughter, Noah; Noah, this is my friend Riston.”

Unlike his daughter, Riston was as American as they come: blond, with light-colored eyes like my mother, as tall as Nick, and broad-shouldered. All he had in common with Sophia was theslight almond shape of his eyes and a little dimple in his chin… I had always thought that was supercute on a girl, but now that I saw she had one, I hated it.

I smiled and shook hands with him. I could feel Nick next to me, but not warm and protecting as usual. Instead, it felt like there was a barrier between us.

Soon we walked to the dining room, where Prett had set a table even more lavish than on Christmas. But then, the Leisters had never celebrated the holidays until my mother and I showed up and turned their world upside down. I still remembered how funny it had been, seeing Will and Nick in their Santa hats, and Nick frowning when I forced him to go get a huge Christmas tree and hang up wreaths. No fool, he’d also been sure to put up mistletoe in every corner.

To my irritation, since I’d joined at the last minute, I was seated next to the senator, with Sophia and Nick across from me…side by side.

Why the hell was I so jealous? Was it really so hard for me to keep from comparing myself to her?

They spent the whole dinner talking about some project or other Sophia was especially excited about. She talked about laws, numbers, and statistics as passionately as I’d have talked about the Brontës or Thomas Hardy. I was dismayed to see Nick was interested, too. I could see it in his eyes. And still worse, I couldn’t even follow the conversation… All those numbers made me dizzy, and I felt like a total idiot. William kept praising her and talking to the two of them like they were a team. Everyone seemed dazzled by them, like they were a new toy, and that gave me a very unpleasant feeling in my stomach.

Late in the meal, Senator Riston looked over at me. “So, Noah, how’s school?”

His question made an intense heat well inside me and rise to my cheeks.

Was it that obvious I had no idea what they were talking about? Was it so obvious that I wasn’t a real adult like his daughter and that he had to take pity on me at the end of a conversation, the way you asked a child about the goings-on at daycare?

“I graduated in June, so yeah, I’m just waiting to start my freshman year,” I said, grabbing the one glass filled with soda at the table.

I met Nick’s gaze across the table, and I felt the sting of awkwardness, of not truly belonging. I couldn’t help him with his projects; I didn’t even know what they were. Nick didn’t talk to me about work. He knew I couldn’t contribute in that department… Sophia bent over to whisper something in his ear, and Nick smiled.

What the hell were they talking about?

I barely heard the senator as he went on talking. “…Anyway, you’ll love dorm life. That’s one of the best things about college…”

I looked over at him and calmly said, “Actually, I’m going to be living with Nicholas.” I didn’t feel light-headed until silence overtook the table, interrupted by the clang of my mother’s silverware as she dropped it unexpectedly.

Nick’s eyes were like saucers as he gazed back and forth between our parents and me.

The senator was unsure what to say… I guess someone had forgotten to tell him we were going out.

Sophia, on the other hand, took it with aplomb, and that pissed me off even worse. If she knew we were going out, why hadn’t she stayed away from him? I felt bad about what I’d said when I looked at Mom. She was going to kill me that night, that much was certain.

32

Nick

I looked over at Noah after Sophia told me we made a good couple, but that was the last thing I’d expected Noah to let slip.

I stiffened all over. No sooner than she’d uttered those words about living with me did Noah slide her chair backward and stand.

“If you all will excuse me, I don’t feel especially well. I think I should probably go to bed.” Her face was white as a ghost. Without waiting for a response, she walked out. Her mother seemed to want to go after her, but my father took her hand and whispered something to her. Raffaella glowered at me, and I felt sick to my stomach.

At the same time, I was happy Noah had finally decided to tell her mother something I’d been hoping she’d say all summer, even if this hadn’t been the best way to do it. I needed to talk to her. I knew something wasn’t right; that was why I’d agreed to come to that stupid dinner, to have an excuse to see her and to spend another night at home. I hated it there, but I loved having breakfast with Noah and getting a kiss from her before I went to work. And I wanted to find out what was bothering her aside from herjealousy toward Sophia—which was ridiculous and had no basis in reality.

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