Page 52 of Your Fault

“Nicholas, I can’t,” I confessed. Why was fate determined to make me relive things I wanted so desperately to leave behind?

“Why not?” he asked incredulously, as if I were insane, as if I didn’t realize the danger we were in. We were trapped in the house, and not just that, whoever was downstairs had cut off the power, which probably meant they’d been planning this for some time. They must have known William was away, just as his service staff did.

Suddenly, a look of comprehension crossed Nick’s face.

“Noah, this isn’t the same as jumping out a window, babe,” he said calmly, his eyes returning constantly to the door. “I climbed this tree a thousand times when I was a kid. You’re not going to fall. You’re not going to hurt yourself.”

I knew what he was saying made sense, but I was paralyzed with fear. Windows, jumping…what that had meant for me in the past was devastating. I put my hands instinctively over my stomach, right where my scar lay.

Seeing me do that, Nicholas looked sad, but he covered it up as best he could. That was a taboo subject; I never talked about it, and neither did he…even if we were going to have to eventually.

“Please, Noah, do it for me,” he asked. “I can’t let anyone hurt you again.”

I tried to put myself in his place. If something happened to me, if the people who had broken into the house saw us, I had no idea what could happen. I was scared for Nicholas. I knew what he was like, and I knew his natural tendency would be to run straight into the line of danger. If he was still there with me, that meant just one thing: I mattered more to him than anything those people might steal or destroy.

“You go first, and I’ll follow after,” I said, trying to keep my emotions in check. I knew if I went down first, he would probably go after them, and seeing his gun, I was scared of what could happen to him, more scared than I had been of anything else up to then.

By his scowl, I knew I had him. He’d definitely been planning on staying behind.

“Sometimes I could strangle you,” he said, but he followed those words with a quick kiss on the lips.

Happily, the house was big enough that no one could hear us whispering.

Nicholas climbed out the window with ease, and I walked over to watch him descend. The branch was around nine feet off the ground. Memories of my accident assailed me. When I’d jumped out that window as a kid, I hadn’t even realized what I was doing… I remembered I’d been so scared that all I cared about was getting out of that hellhole of darkness and abuse. My father was the boogeyman, the monster every child is afraid of, but at that moment, I didn’t have a mom around to tell me it was just a nightmare. The monster had been real, and I’d had to jump to escape him.

Nick was soon on the lawn motioning for me to hurry behind him. Hearing a noise on the other end of the room, I shivered,went out the window legs first, and grabbed onto the tree trunk. I needed to go down before someone saw me. Nick was ready to catch me if I fell; that dissolved my fears. Soon he was holding me, and I could breathe easily again.

“Come on,” he said, pulling me toward the backyard. “Where’s your phone?”

We looked all around, scared someone might pop out in the night.

Thank God it was where I left it, on top of a deck chair, but that wasn’t all. Thor, the dog we both adored, was lying a yard away next to the pool. It was weird that he hadn’t barked—that hadn’t occurred to us until now—and now I felt even more scared. Nicholas jogged over to him and put his ear on his chest while I covered my mouth with one hand in dread.

“He’s alive,” he said, and I walked over and kneeled beside him. The dog was breathing regularly, as though asleep, with no signs of injuries.

“They must have drugged him,” Nick said, petting his head.

I bent over and kissed the dog’s furry neck.

“Come on, Noah, they might see us,” Nick said, and we left Thor behind.

Nick grabbed the phone and dragged me behind the pool house, pushing me into the wall and pressing into me to protect me with his body. That reminded me of my birthday party, and I thought how ironic it was that now we were in that same position, hoping not to be discovered.

He looked down and dialed emergency services, telling them what was happening, that someone had broken into our home and we were hiding. They told him a patrol was on the way and we should stay put. When he hung up, he hugged me and kissed my scalp.

“Are you okay?” he asked. “Don’t worry, they won’t see us here. Everything will be fine.”

I was so nervous, my hands were shaking. The nightmare, knowing Nicholas had heard me, what he’d told me afterward, having to jump out that window… I wanted to roll into a ball on the ground and wait for everything to go back to normal. I needed to escape my bad memories.

“Can I have a kiss?” I asked him instead of responding. I felt the adrenaline coursing through my veins, and I wouldn’t calm down until the police got there.

He seemed to think it a strange request, but he bent over anyway and answered my wishes. It was supposed to be quick and sweet, but I wrapped my hand around the back of his head and tried to get him to do it harder. Pushing my back against the wall, he made all of it—what was happening just then, the frustration of the day I’d gotten back from Europe after a month apart, my fight with my mother, my doubts—disappear in an instant. He slowed when he saw the situation was getting out of hand, but he didn’t let me go, and I stayed close to him. My hands touched something in the waistline of his pants, and he stepped back until we were completely apart.

In silence, panting, I watched him as he looked at me, took the gun out of the back of his pants, and put it on the ground where it wouldn’t bother him. The pistol gleamed in the moonlight, and I was scared.

“You shouldn’t have that,” I warned him. But before he could respond, we heard the sirens of the police cars. He came back close to me and said, “Please, don’t leave my side.”

I nodded and took his hand, ready for whatever awaited us.

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