Page 48 of Your Fault

It took forever to get to sleep, and when I did, the nightmares came back. I knew I was looking for Nick in my sheets, I knew when I felt him near me, my fears would vanish, but he wasn’t there, and he wouldn’t be able to protect me…

The sunlight was dazzling…for a moment, I didn’t know where I was, but then I managed to situate myself in my dream.

My father was with me.

“Noah, there are times in your life when people will do things you don’t like… Think about when Mom doesn’t do the things Papa tells her to, then Papa has to punish her, right?” my father said while we were both sitting by the seaside watching the waves crash against the cliff.

I nodded, listening to him, saying yes to whatever he said. That was easy because his questions were almost always rhetorical; you didn’t need to think about the answer because the question already implied it.

“The thing is, your mom doesn’t know what’s good for her. She doesn’t understand that I’m the only one who knows that.”

My father grabbed me around the waist and set me on his lap.

“You’re my girl, Noah. You’re my little treasure, and you’ll always do what I say, right?”

I nodded, looking into my father’s eyes, those eyes that were exactly like mine, the color of honey. Only his were bloodshot from alcohol.

“So, next time I tell you to scram, to leave your mother where she is, what are you going to do?”

“Go to my room,” I whispered almost inaudibly.

My father nodded with satisfaction. “Don’t ever disobey me, honey… I don’t want to do anything I’ll have to regret later…not to you. After all, you and I, we’re the same, aren’t we?”

I nodded and smiled while my father grabbed a string off the ground and started knotting it nimbly.

“This will be our tie, so strong that no one will ever break it.”

I looked at the knot, a figure eight. My father had made me tie one many times…

And I never stopped until it was perfect.

The next day, I got up with bags under my eyes. I’d had a horrible night, and it didn’t help that breakfast was so uncomfortable. William didn’t utter a word, and my mother scowled at me in silence, pretending to read the newspaper. A wicked part of my brain wondered what it would be like to drop the bomb on them that I was going to live with Nicholas right then, but just thinking about it gave me the urge to throw up.

I was happy when my phone started ringing. I’d been waiting for Nicholas to call me. I left the kitchen, ignoring my mother’s reproachful expression, and answered.

“Hello?”

“Is this Noah Morgan?” a woman asked on the other line.

“Yeah, who is this?” I replied, taking the stairs two at a time. She was silent until I reached my bedroom door.

“This is Anabel Grason, Nicholas’s mother.”

I was dumbstruck. Anabel. Half my problems were her fault—my problems and those of the person I loved most. She’d abandoned him, and now he wanted nothing to do with her.

“What do you want?” I asked as I shut the door behind me.

Hesitant, finally sighing, she said, “I need to ask you for a favor. I know Nicholas doesn’t want to see me, but I don’t care. I need to talk to him, and I need your help. You’re his girlfriend, right?”

Her tone was so gentle that I wasn’t sure what to do. Unsettled, I sat on the edge of the bed.

“I won’t do anything Nick doesn’t want. The two of you need to work it out. I’m sorry, Mrs. Grason, but you must understand I’m not exactly a fan of yours, and honestly, I think Nicholas is better off without you.”

There it was. I’d said it, and I wasn’t going to take it back now… She had abandoned Nick, my Nick, when he was just twelve years old—leaving him with a father who was too busy building his empire—without any explanation, and now she wanted that relationship back? She must have been sick in the head.

“I’m his mother, and there’s no way he’s better off without me. Things have changed, and I want to see him again.”

I wasn’t about to give in. I had tried to talk to Nick about that very subject, and he had made it very clear to me that I should stay out of it. Anabel was a big no for him, and I knew him enough to realize he wasn’t going to change his mind.