Page 120 of Your Fault

Perfect.

“Come here, you little doubter.”

She watched me, amused but uncertain, while I stepped close to her, wrapped one arm behind her back, and clasped her fingers with the other. I took a moment to prepare, then started moving. I took her along with me, just as I’d been taught, just as I had done ten or more years ago.

We went slowly at first, but once Noah let herself go, I was able to really move with her.

“I can’t believe I’m dancing with you in my living room to Frank Sinatra, of all people. What have you been smoking, Nick?”

I smiled, pushed her away, brought her back in, spinning her so her back pressed into my torso. I cradled her in my arms and slowed down… Her head rested on my shoulder as I squeezed her, kissed her on the head, then spun her around again to face me.

I felt the way I had in the early days of our relationship. I didn’t know how to explain it, but Noah was smiling, relaxed, and I reflected her mood. My irritation was gone, and all I wanted was to remember that moment forever: her in my arms, swaying with me as if all our problems had vanished after those days of absence…

“I love you,” I said, feeling every letter of those three words coming from my heart.

Instead of responding, she squeezed my hand tighter, kissed my chest, and we continued until the song was done. We went on that way for a long time, not so much dancing as simply holding each other to the rhythm of the music. As she started to slacken in my arms, I realized she was falling asleep. Leaning down to wrap one arm around her knees, I picked her up.

“What are you doing…?” she asked, her eyes barely open. “Let’s keep dancing… I’m good at it.”

I smiled as I opened her bedroom door, then backed into it to shut it. “You’re great at it. Especially when I’m holding you up.”

I laid her in bed, and she struggled to open her eyes again as I took off my T-shirt and jeans.

“You’re staying,” she said, and a sweet smile crossed her lips.

“I’m staying,” I responded, sliding between her sheets. She came close to me and rested her head on my chest. “Now sleep, my love.”

49

Noah

It was as if I were floating among white clouds at nightfall. I felt the sun’s heat on my body and the warm sensation of resting so deeply that my mind was struggling to bring me back to reality. I felt so good, inside and out; that cold from the past few days had vanished, and when I finally managed to pry my eyes open, I understood why: two azure lights, stunning and sensual, were staring at me. I wanted him to close them; so much intensity without warning was too much for my already-raging hormones. His hand, resting on my back, started tracing little circles.

“How long have you been awake?”

He smiled. “Since you started snoring an hour or so ago.”

Irked, I grabbed the pillow and tossed it at his head. The blow didn’t have much of an effect; I still wasn’t totally awake.

I rolled over, grunting, and turned my back to him. He didn’t wait a second to edge over to me and pull me into him. He wove his fingers into mine and stretched our arms out in front of my eyes.

“I miss having you in my bed.”

I missed it, too. My God, that was what I missed the most. Who could have imagined all the things that could happenbetween two people who love each other in a bed. I didn’t just mean sex; I meant something more—how the mattress becomes a place for confessions, for midnight caresses, for trust, a place where you can put all your worries and hang-ups aside, at least when you are truly in love. There’s something magical about sleeping with someone and sharing your dreams. We hadn’t really done anything the night before, but I was certain that my body and mind had been calmed by the mere knowledge that he was there.

When his hand turned, I saw his tattoo. I loved seeing those words on his skin. I loved them because I had written them, I was the one who made him do crazy things like that because we were in love…crazily in love.

The night before, when we’d been dancing and I could feel his heartbeat by my ear…it was so special that I was scared for it to end. I didn’t want it to end, and that’s why I’d held on until I couldn’t keep my eyes open or my body standing. The Nick of the night before was the same Nick I’d fallen in love with, the same Nick I loved to the point of insanity. That had been one of those moments when I understood we really were perfect for each other. I wanted to believe we could leave the past behind and that if we kept struggling, we could make it. That was what I wanted more than anything in the world, and I was willing to do whatever it took.

But why, then, couldn’t I stop thinking about the way we’d fought before? And was this intimate moment between the two of us that morning the calm before the storm?

Nick turned me around and climbed on top of me. “You’re awful quiet… I wasn’t being serious about you snoring. You know you don’t snore.”

I smiled and pushed aside a lock of hair that had fallen into his eyes. “I liked dancing with you last night.”

He smiled—that smile I loved so much but saw so little of. “I told you I was a hell of a dancer.”

I rolled my eyes. “Nicholas Egotistical Leister, that must be your full name,” I said, turning away when he tried to kiss me. In response, he squeezed my ribs, tickling me until I started laughing.

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