Page 29 of Venom and Bind

“I’m not afraid.” I dug my nails into my palms. “I’mfurious. He keeps trying to break me, but I won’t let him. And I won’t let this eat me up with fear again.”

Dr. Loomis scribbled in his notepad. “It sounds like this anger is a manifestation of your strength, empowering you because you fought back and survived.”

I’d done more than survive. No, I’d fucking stabbed Ryzen in the eye. For all we knew, Ryzen had bled out and was dead. But that was wishful thinking on my part. No, I knew deep down in my gut that he was still out there. I could feel it.

“Perhaps this anger that you’re feeling allows you to take back some of the control you’ve lost over the past year. You must be careful, though, Nova. An anger that strong can be self-destructive.”

Dr. Loomis wrapped up our session and squeezed my hand on the way out after I promised to be careful and that I would be back next week at the same time as always. Cian and Valik sat in the lobby just a few feet away, and I offered them a smile.

“How was it?” Cian ran his calloused hands up and down my arms.

“Fine. He thinks I need to let go of some anger.” I rolled my eyes and chuckled. Cian smiled, but it didn’t meet his eyes. No, he was still on high alert and wary. “Let’s go shoot some shit, Mr. Blackwood.” I stood up on my tiptoes and pressed my lips to his. His body softened under my palms, and out of my peripheral, I noticed Valik turn his back to give us some privacy.

“Are you sure?” Cian murmured against my lips.

I traced my fingers over the scar on his face and along his lips. What I really wanted at that moment was to be locked up in our penthouse again, tangled in bed with him, and to forget about the past year. But we couldn’t do that. We had to face this head on. I nodded and gripped his hand as we took the elevator down.

Outside there were three SUVs. One was ours, and the other two were for the additional security Cian had hired. He was going overboard, and I had decided that arguing with him over it was a losing battle. The more the merrier, I guessed.

We took Interstate 90 west to a secluded forest where Cian and his brothers liked to have target practice. Grams’ name flashed on my cell phone, and I sighed. I needed to stay focused right now. She had been borderline hysterical when she had found out I had been attacked, and I had done my best to reassure her I was OK and that Cian was keeping me safe. She had promised to take me out for dinner later in the week, which must have been why she was calling. I pressed the decline button, then shot her off a quick text that I was going to a meeting and would call her later.

Juliet was waiting there with Thora and Eros because Cian wanted to make sure we both knew how to handle a weapon. Juliet had seemed excited about it, not apprehensive as I had thought she might be. Cian had also stationed extra guards around Juliet and her home just in case Ryzen got any wild ideas. One guard assigned to her waved as we pulled up. Cian and I walked down the gravel trail as Valik drove around the perimeter to ensure nobody could sneak up on us.

“Nova!” Juliet jogged over. “I hit the target right in the head.” Her eyes sparkled with excitement, and I chuckled as she dragged me over to the wooden table. It was covered with different types of guns, including pistols, revolvers, rifles, and shotguns. I gulped, overwhelmed.

I could do this.

Cian pointed at each of the guns, starting with the smallest and working his way up to the biggest, and explained each type and the power they wielded. It was too much information to process all at once, so I pointed to the smallest one on the table, a .22-caliber pistol.

“Good choice.” He handed me a pair of safety goggles. His body was stiff as he placed the noise-canceling headphones over my ears. He was on edge, and I hated it. Things had been going so well; hell, we were getting married. But fucking Ryzen Goodacre had to roll in and fuck things up yet again.

“Safety first, baby.” Cian kissed the tip of my nose and walked us over to the shooting area.

“Most self-defense attacks happen within three yards, and only last three seconds. What you do within those three seconds could save your life.” Eros sidled up behind Juliet and adjusted her stance.

Cian loaded the magazine into the gun and placed it in my hands. It was heavy, which surprised me, and the cool metal against my palms sent a chill down my spine. I had to be in control here and not let my fear of guns take over, otherwise I would only end up hurting myself or someone else by accident. He stepped behind me and placed his hands on my hips, tapping my boots for me to spread my legs. I held firm, making sure my feet were planted shoulder width apart, and raised my arms up. My heart pounded in my chest, a combination of fear and the unknown.

I steadied myself and took a deep breath, my finger wrapping around the trigger.

Cian lifted one side of the headphones. “Firm grip, but gentle. Pull back until it clicks.” He put my headphones back, kissing my cheek.

I faced the target, imagining it was Ryzen, and pulled the trigger. A deafening noise surrounded us, and my whole body jolted backwards at the recoil. Cian was right behind me and patted my back, letting me know everything was OK. My gaze traveled over the target, and I groaned, realizing that it didn’t have any holes in it. Damn, this was a lot harder than it looked.

“Again,” Cian shouted from behind and I raised my arms up. This time, I steadied my breathing and exhaled as I pulled the trigger. The smell of gunpowder hung in the air. The bullet soared through the air and hit the target only three inches from its left ear.

Much better.

Excitement raced through my veins at how close I had gotten. Maybe this wasn’t all that bad. I fired over and over again, getting closer to the bullseye each time. It was almost empowering, although I had to remember that carrying a gun came with a heavy responsibility.

Juliet did well, even better than me. By the time we walked over to collect our targets, she had gotten five bullseyes compared to my two.

“Guess I know who to call in an emergency.” I elbowed her and she wrapped her arm around my shoulder.

“You know it, baby.” She grinned and walked us over to a little picnic table that had bottles of water.

Thora ran over to join us and held up her hand to give us high-fives. “You guys crushed it. Way better than me the first time I ever had target practice. Ugh, remember that, Eros?”

Eros’ face paled and he reached down to cover his crotch. “I’ll never fucking forget it.”

---