Page 103 of Mad About Yule

“Almost a month ago.”

I can’t process that. Lila’s not an especially private person—she has no secrets. She lives everything out in the open.

“What happened?”

“He cheated on me.” She winces like just saying it hurts. “I think it was going on the whole time we were together. Of course, he fired me from his company when I gave his ring back. I moved my stuff into a storage unit, and I’ve been sleeping on a friend’s couch, trying to find a new job.”

I’ve thought my sister had it all together for so long, hearing that she doesn’t has broken my brain. It’s like I’m operating in a parallel reality and scrambling to make sense of it.

“Why didn’t you tell us?”

She drops her voice to a stage whisper. “I was afraid of what people would say once they knew.”

“Oh, Lila.” I pull her in for a huge hug. She’s soft and warm against me, and it hurts a little to think how long it’s been since our last big hug. When we let go, I’m wired like the bell just rang in a boxing match. “I’m going to drop kick Joshua Brandt the Third.”

She laughs and swipes her cheeks with the back of her hand. “I can’t wait to see it.”

“What do you need? How can I help you through this?” This is a massive upheaval of her life, and guilt crawls through my stomach thinking how I’ve been pushing her away when she needs me most.

“This is what I need. Being here with you and putting an end to my pity party. I’m not going to feel sorry anymore about breaking up with a cheater. Now, tell me about this really great guy of yours.”

Oh, I want him to be mine. Even though I messed things up tonight, I want him.

“Griffin McBride.”

She blinks. “That guy you hated in high school?”

“I didn’thatehim, but yeah. He’s been working with me on the festival stuff, and Mom’s pushing us together. But after everything with Mark, I’m afraid to have anything be out in the open like that again.”

“What’s he like now?”

“He’s amazing. There’s nothing he wouldn’t do for the people in his life. He’s the best support, and encourages me, and believes in me whenIdon’t believe in me.”

Her wry grin is too knowing. “It sure doesn’t sound like you hate him very much now.”

“I think I love him.” Think. Know. Is there a difference at this point? The hammering behind my ribs says it’s all the same.

“Help me understand. You love him.”

I nod. Now that I’ve named the feeling out loud, it’s flooding through me, tinting every tiny part of me.

“And it sounds like he at least cares about you, too.”

More nodding, because even though I screwed things up this evening, I know he does. We wouldn’t have even had a problem tonight if he didn’t.

If I’m with you, I want to be with you.

“And Mom wants you to get together with him.”

“Yes, exactly.”

She makes a face. “Then who are you keeping this a secret from?”

“Well…the—” I can’t even form the right words. When she lays it out like that, I’m not sure of the answer anymore. “The town? When the gossips find out, they’ll whisper about us, and he’ll get scared off like Mark did, and…”

I hear it. I finally, truly hear it. I’m pushing Griffin away because I think thetownmight ruin my relationship with him? They’re not the ones I needed to be worried about driving him away. “I’m an idiot, aren’t I?”

“I was going to say misguided, but idiot works.”

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