Page 10 of Merry Me Grumphole

This is not us.

He should be teasing me for wanting to see these lights. Instead of having one hand in his pocket and the other around his cup, he should be holding my hand to get a reaction out of me.

Ouch. My poor heart. I thought I’d be able to survive this, but I’m not as strong as I thought. My steps start to slow until I’m falling behind. Once my eyes start watering and the brutal air makes them sting, I’m ready to admit defeat.

The silent game has to be the worst game yet. I can’t do it.

I stop walking and glare at my stupid hot chocolate. He takes a few steps before noticing. My lips press in a firm line as my brows pinch together.

This is why I’m no good at the whole love thing. I overthink everything and get upset way too freaking easily. Normally, I return his asshole attitude with a little bit of my own.

Right now, I’m feeling disappointed and pretty freaking sad. Does he regret kissing me so much that he feels the need to ruin one of the few victories I’ve had over him? A victory he handed on a silver platter.

I feel stupid and my heart hurts.

Stupid Christmas and damn all those romantic movies for making me have high expectations with cute shared holiday moments.

Riley

Her eyes are glistening again. How many times am I going to make her upset?

Walking toward her, my stomach twists up when she lifts that watery gaze.

“You’re a crybaby, Gwen.” The moment the words leave my lips, the front of my chest gets thumped with her free hand.

She’s angry now. Good. I’d rather she dislike me more than cry over something I’ve done.

“You are a jerk.” She’s huffing now, her face sour. “What is your deal?”

“My deal?”

Gwen rolls her eyes, shaking her head like I’m spewing nonsense. “You haven’t brought up the party at all and you look so freaking miserable to be here. So yeah, what is your deal? If you regret kissing me, then just say it so I can move on.”

Her face is red as she pants, her chest heaving. She’s crushed the cup in her hand, the poor thing not standing a chance.

I look away, sighing softly. Looking at all the lights, I think of what to say.

“I don’t want to fuck this up,” I admit after a minute. “I’m finally in a place that I want to be, and I don’t want to take any steps back. But, clearly, I’ve done exactly that.”

She sniffs and I look back at her. Damn. Even now, she’s got me all twisted.

“You don’t regret kissing me, do you?”

My brows narrow at her question. “No way in hell. The only thing I regret is doing it drunk.”

That’s the truth. Even if it sounds more embarrassing than I like, it’s the one thing that pissed me off when I woke up the next morning.

“I thought you’d turn me away today if I’m going to be honest.” I drink down half my cup, fighting the urge to let her see how worried I truly feel. “I crossed the line at that party.”

“Wecrossed that line together,” she reminds me like I don’t remember her firm grip on my sweater vest each time she tugged me down. The thought makes me stifle a chuckle. She was the one who wanted more than one kiss.

“I suppose you are right.” Breathing in, I step toward her and offer my arm. “Well, if I haven’t ruined this day for you entirely, are you willing to restart?”

She takes a look at my arm and bites on her lip. “Maybe if you say pretty please.”

I can’t hold the next smile back. “I’m not going to do that, but I am willing to promise that I’ll make it up to you later.”

Her brows lift and her pink cheeks grow darker. I immediately realize what she’s thinking I’m suggesting. For my own amusement, I won’t correct her.

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