Page 15 of Winter's Kiss

“Paige has been gone a long time, yet she remains a fixture in his life. As though a weight strapped to his ankle.” Anna continued.

“He’s never been able to let go of the guilt of her,” Theo added. “He’s never looked at another woman even remotely close to how he looked at her… until you.” My brows crinkled with confusion.

“What?” Anna placed her hand softly on my knee.

“The way he looked at you, it was as if something that died with Paige became alive again. A small flicker of light, but there.” Anna answered softly.

“Nothing like the randoms he’s brought around,” Theo added.

“No, you’re mistaken.” I quickly added. “Just last night, he called her his wife.” Theo closed the book and sat it back on the table, Anna with a slow nod.

“I don’t believe Rowland has prepared himself to say any other words in her regard, dear. You need to understand that having the person you love taken from you is hard. Having a connection with another woman, well, confusing and hard.” Anna answered.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if he felt like he was cheating on Paige,” Theo added with a slow lift to his feet. I closed my eyes at Theo’s words, guilt at what I had called Rowland just the night before.

“But you’ve said he’s been with others since her.” I wanted to not feel guilty. I wanted to not feel as though I had misread everything. I wanted to not feel as though I ruined what I seemed to have been blind to.

“Look beyond a single night dear, those don’t matter if there is no light within a single glance.” My gaze lowered with the older woman’s words. I had been a fool.

“Why didn’t he just tell me?” I asked myself.

“Not so easy to just offer up the worst part of your past,” Theo mumbled as he walked toward the entrance of the room. Anyone who had lived life would have known this, I thought. My sheltered world a new level of destruction. “Be sure to let me know when you’re ready to travel to town, sweetheart.” I glanced up at Theo as he turned toward me with a sideways grin.

I spent the rest of the morning and afternoon in my room, lost in thought. I couldn’t help but wonder where Rowland and I would be if I had just let it go. Ignored my overthinking brain regarding the blond-haired woman. He had welcomed me into his home, his bed, even came to me after his day-long trip.

Yet I refused to allow myself to simply live in the moment. Embrace what he offered me, which seemed to be more than he had anyone since the passing of his wife.

I had wanted to experience life and see what was out there for me and, at the first chance; I ruined it. Stopped it before it started. Rowland had allowed me to have my adventure. He opened himself up to me and I gave him the constant reminder of the woman he worked silently to move on from.

Had last night been the last straw for us, for him? I needed to talk with him and apologize once again for overstepping my place. I had accused him of cheating. Had I made him feel bad at his silent efforts? I had thought of him as a bad man, family being nothing of importance to him. He was a good man, one that stopped and saved a stranded woman in the middle of a snowstorm. One that traveled to town at the mere request of his parents.

I grabbed my bag and shoved all the items I could into it before I snatched up the loaned jacket and moved from the bedroom. With a quick sprint down the stairs, I ran past Theo and Anna in the kitchen and out the front door. One person, one thing, on my mind.

The wind had started to calm; the temperature was still chilly. The sky no longer held a grey cloud, a light blue now over the small farm. I made my way down the recently cleared path without so much as a look back. Up and down small rises, I started to sprint, his porch in sight. I could smell the fire he burned inside.

I saw the smoke that lifted from the chimney. His truck remained parked along the side of the house, covered in snow.

One hard step followed by another, I moved instantly to the door. I paused and questioned if I should knock or just enter. He owed me nothing, yet I wanted everything. I swallowed hard and dropped my bag onto the wooden floor before I pushed open the door and stepped inside. Tucker stood instantly and growled until he saw me. I glanced around, searching for him until he walked from the bedroom.

There he was. I swallowed once more; my breathing quickened. How to start? I asked myself, while I looked into his eyes. He stood with his arms to his sides, his black t-shirt tight around his strong biceps. I had so much to say. I had gone over it more than a hundred times and yet as I stood in his presence; I lost myself. My train of thought. Worried he would cast me away for what I had called him. For my back and forth.

Scared, unwilling to risk it, I made a mad dash in his direction. My hands pressed to the sides of his face while my body collided against his. I slammed him against the nearest wall, my body pinned him. Our gazes locked, our lips silent. I lowered my hands along his arms, under, and along his waist. He never moved, never stopped my advances.

My fingers worked at his belt, his jeans. With a smooth lowering of his zipper, I grabbed the top of his jeans and his boxer briefs. I waited for him to stop me, for him to ask me questions. He remained silent. Was this our adventure?

Was he sent to my life to open my eyes to true passion and spontaneity? Teach me life isn’t as simple as my bubble had been. Had I been brought to him to help him move forward?

I lowered to my knees; my gaze locked up at him. I brought his clothing to his ankles, my eyes lowered from him to take him in as he stood before me. Never had I done this before, had I wanted to perform such an act, except with him. I ran my hands up his thighs, gripped at his cock with a lowered gaze, and brought him to my mouth.

Nine

That night I lay in his arms, my head rested against his chest, my arm stretched over his stomach. I never had to tell him I was sorry, never had to beg for him to forgive me. He just did. He welcomed me back into his arms, back into his bed without so much a flicker of anger towards my accusations that he would be anything other than an honorable man. There was more to Rowland than one might think by looking at him, and I couldn’t wait to find out everything I could.

When morning came, I woke to expect him to be gone like he had our first morning, pleased to see he remained asleep next to me. I ran my hand up to his chest, over his shoulder, while I lifted and rolled over to him. I wanted to not waste a second with him. I had done enough of that with my questions and busy mind.

My mouth pressed along his stomach, with a soft lift and fall trailed up his chest, then around his neck, my body lifted to straddle him.

His hands lifted to rest on my bare thighs, his shirt, and a pair of panties all I wore. My lips curved to a grin as I felt his fingers glide to my ass, my pelvic a slow grind down on him. I had never wished more for the existence of clothing to be gone. The morning hardness of his member caused me to grow moist. I wanted him so badly, just to be as close as physically possible.

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