Page 26 of Winter's Kiss

“Yeah.” I heard him again. My lips curled into a smile as I brought my legs up against my chest. “Just not ready.” The line went silent for over a minute before I heard Theo shuffling again on the other end.

“Natasha?” I started to cry, still with a smile on my face at just hearing his voice briefly.

“I miss him,” I admitted. “Why did I have to meet him? Fall in love with him?” I scoffed. “I suppose this is what a broken heart feels like.” The call hadn’t gone on as I planned, but I regretted nothing. If I hadn’t called, I wouldn’t have heard him, and I wouldn’t have gotten the advice I got from Theo.

“Perhaps it’s time you picked a home, sweetheart. Follow your gut, it will never lead you astray.” Theo and I said our goodbyes shortly after, and his words repeated in my mind. For my entire life, I’ve listened to what others said was best.

Even now, I did as my sister suggested. I left Muddy Waters based on what Rowland didn’t do or say and suffered for it. I had placed myself in the position I was in because I chose the easier road. I didn’t fight for him or what I wanted out of fear. I knew what I had to do.

Fifteen

Ihad gone back and forth what felt like a million times before the answer came to me. An answer that had been so clear I couldn’t understand what took me so long to get there. I told my sister what I had decided to do, called my parents, and explained to them the choice I had made and why. I knew they wouldn’t agree. They would see me as making a grave mistake, but it didn’t matter anymore. What they thought, what anyone thought, didn’t matter. I knew what I wanted and regardless of what happened, I would take that leap of faith. I would trust my gut.

I smiled at the two words etched across the large sign. Muddy Waters. It was strange how clear my mind seemed to get the moment I knew I was closer to him. How the pain in my chest faded, my breathing lighter. This small town was where I wanted to be.

It had been what I searched for without even knowing it. Rowland needed to know that. He needed to know how completely I had fallen for him. Regardless of what he felt, he at least needed to know.

I passed that same spot, that spot, which would forever be a marvelous memory. I smiled at the flash of him appearing on that stormy night. Of how he walked toward the car with the heaviness of the snow surrounding him. The way he looked at me that first time, how he saved me. I would have never thought a moment like that would happen to me, that my first love would just appear out of nowhere.

I continued down the recently cleared road, the snow that surrounded a thick blanket for as far as the eyes could see. Not a single car on the road. I sped up, my desire to see him growing with each mile that passed. How would I greet him? I asked myself with a blush on my cheeks. What would be his reaction to seeing me? The question had me worried slightly, yet nothing would derail me.

A million actions ran through my mind as I entered the last stretch of my drive. Would I just run to him, wrap my arms around him, and jump into his arms? Would I kiss him? I missed the feel of those lips. Would I walk slowly up to him, allow him to come to me? My heart started to race as I turned onto the drive to the farm. My hands gripped the wheel, my speed slowed with nervousness that rolled over me.

I hadn’t told anyone I was coming, not even Theo. I wanted it to be a surprise.

I wanted to catch him with his guard down. I had hoped it would let me know how he felt, what he thought about me being back. Yet, as I pulled in front of the main house, I worried about his reaction. A moment of dread filled me, and I thought about turning when the front door of the house opened and out walked Anna with a quick step and a wide smile.

“Oh, my goodness.” She spoke with a joyful tone, tears in her eyes, while she stepped down the stairs to greet me. I walked around my car; a smile pulled to my lips as our bodies connected in a firm embrace. “It’s so wonderful to see you again.” She continued.

“I’ve missed you,” I admitted, my eyes closed to the scent of her pies that rolled from the left-opened door. She stepped back; her hands rested on my arms with a wide welcoming smile.

“Darn those men not telling me you were coming.” She lowered her hands and grabbed mine. With a quick turn, she started to walk me up the stairs onto the covered porch.

“They don’t know.” She stopped with my admission and turned with a surprised look. “I mean, I didn’t tell Theo and well haven’t spoken with Rowland so.” I continued, her features a gentle smile and nod.

“Well, why don’t we get ourselves inside. You are not dressed for this temperature.” Anna is always the mother, I thought. Though she was right, dressed in only a pair of jeans, a light white tank top with a flannel shirt over it.

“Look what the cat dragged in.” I knew that voice.

A wide grin pulled across my lips at Theo’s voice as he walked down the stairs. He moved over to me, his frame a tall stand as he shook his head. “Seems you decided to take my advice.” I nodded at his words.

“I decided to trust my gut.” Theo placed his palm along my cheek with a single wink.

“Let us fix you a cup of tea.” Anna quickly spoke. I enjoyed seeing them. I wanted to see them, but they were not who I was there for. I remained in the foyer of the house, watched as both started toward the kitchen, stopped only by my quick words.

“I thought I’d go down to the cabin and see Rowland.” I saw the look both had shared before they turned in my direction. Fear sunk into my heart at that moment. Was there someone else? Had he moved on already?

“Rowland isn’t at the cabin, sweetheart,” Anna spoke in a soft tone.

“Okay, when will he be back? I could wait…” Anna shook her head.

“He doesn’t live there anymore.” Anna chimed in. I licked my lips with a nod and a quick laugh as I looked at that ground. What did this mean? He moved from his family. Had I chased him from his home? Did he even still live in Muddy Waters anymore? I started to speak when Theo spoke.

“Come with me.” The man kissed his wife on the cheek before he grabbed his jacket from the rack and made his way past me.

I had no time to speak, no time to ask questions before Anna smiled and motioned for me to follow him.

Without a word, I did just that, back out into the chilly weather. I sprinted to catch up with him. He pulled open the passenger side door of his truck and waited for me to climb in before he made his way to the other side. My gaze looked at the cabin in the distance. Sadness filled my heart at how untouched it looked.

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