Page 1 of Winter's Kiss

Preface

“He asked me to marry him.” My words were frantic as I tossed my folded clothing into my case. “I mean, I knew he would someday, but when I heard the question, saw the ring.” My words were halted by the flashback of Andrew on his knees before me with his grandmother’s wedding ring.

Andrew and I had been together since our freshman year of high school. We were that couple, the prom king and queen. The captain of the cheerleaders and quarterback. We remained together through college, attended family vacations together and although I knew it made sense to marry him, the thought of it made my stomach sick.

I pictured my life with him over the years more times than I could count and with each time I felt a part of me die. It wasn’t that I didn’t love the man or that he hadn’t treated me well, but he had been all I knew. The first kiss. The first lover.

The first everything. He would give me everything a woman could want from a husband, there would be no second-guessing, and that alone scared me.

I had lived my thirty years how everyone else in my life wanted me to. I worried about how they felt more than I did. More times than not, I had imagined switching places with my older sister, Laurel. At least she dared to escape and live for herself. I knew Andrew hadn’t expected my answer, that it had embarrassed him and shocked everyone else. But I felt my world closing in and felt as though I could no longer breathe.

“How did he take it when you told him?” My sister’s question broke through my thoughts.

“He said he understood.” I scoffed at my reply. “I know I crushed him, though.”

“Maybe you did, but you made the right choice.” I knew she was right; my sister had always been wiser than people gave her credit.

“He asked me to marry him, and I tell him I want to break up.” I shook my head at the flashback of his face. “It sure didn’t feel right looking into his eyes.”

“Breakups are hard, especially when there is love there, but you did what was best for you, for the first time in your life.” I nodded at her words as though she could see me. “When do you think you’ll get here?”

“I don’t know,” I replied as I pushed a strand of my light brown hair behind my ears.

With a slow exhale, I sat on the edge of my bed, my eyes set out the window of my small apartment.

“Sis, you, okay?” I heard her question, the concern in her words, but I had no answer to give. I didn’t know if I was okay, if I would be okay. I felt lost, confused, and twisted. Did I make the right choice? Could I be like my sister and live for myself? Did I even know what that meant or what I wanted? “Natasha?” I blinked as my name moved through the phone.

“I’m fine.” I blurted out. “I need to finish packing and get on the road.” I stood and moved across the room to my dresser, my gaze fell to the picture of Andrew and me at prom.

“Call me when you get to your first stop.”

“I will,” I replied as I continued to stare at the picture. “I love you, Laurel.”

“I love you, cookie.” I smiled and ended the call with a quick grab of my socks.

I zipped up the suitcase ten minutes later, my hands brushing across the leather as I looked around the room. I knew I would be back in a month; I had promised to return before the holidays, but the room felt different. I felt different. Had I made the biggest mistake of my life?

Just over two days, that’s how long I had planned for the drive to take to North Carolina. I knew flying would be easier and faster, but I needed the time alone. I needed to think about where my life was, where it was headed, and most importantly, what it was I wanted. Not once in my life had anyone asked me what I thought about this or that.

What I saw for my life, my future. I hoped this trip would bring me closer to an answer.

I had said my goodbyes. Even Andrew came to see me off. I loaded my car and drove from my childhood home without looking back. I glanced in the rearview mirror mere seconds before I took that turn off my childhood street. That’s when I felt it, the weight that lifted from my shoulders. With a slow exhale, my lips curled into a smile, my foot pressed on the accelerator.

One

The first part of my drive had been anything but entertaining. One gas station after the next, followed by fast food and the dirtiest restrooms I had ever seen. One stretch of the road was followed by another without anything to bring beauty. One state after the other, each with a quick selfie at the welcoming sign. This could be the last trip I ever took. I would at the very least get pictures to remember it. Something to look back on in my glory years, I thought.

My phone is positioned perfectly in its holder. I worked hard to ignore any text or call that wasn’t from my sister, between Andrew and my parents, which had been no easy task. I knew they worried for me and wanted to know where I was on my journey, but I needed the distance.

I needed them all out of my head so I could hear my thoughts. No matter how scary they were.

As I reached the halfway point of my first day’s drive, I pulled into the parking lot of a small motel. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t scared or nervous. The small number of places I had stayed away from home were nice, high-priced hotels. Part of the rewards coming from a well-off family. I remained in my car mere minutes before I climbed out and made my way toward the office.

The loud chime of the door brought every eye onto me while I stepped into the small room. My lips curved into a short, forced smile with my glance around. A heavier-framed man, who stood tall as a giant, leaned against the back wall. His jeans were covered in grease stains; his white tee shirt hung loosely over his body while he took a drink from a Styrofoam cup. His coal-black hair slicked back.

Next to him, a slightly smaller man sat on the counter with a coffee machine. He wore a pair of black cargo jeans and a red shirt, his fingernails black underneath. He gave me a smile and a wink as he chewed on what I hoped to be gum. With a quick step to the counter, I brought my attention to the older man, who stood with an expression of utter annoyance plastered across his face.

“Hi.” I wanted to run and find another place to stay, but I refused to give into fear. I had to get out of my comfort area and this place was the farthest from it, I thought. I figured if I could spend the night here alone, what couldn’t I do?

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