I said no, and we kept playing, but I also didn’t tell him not to worry, that I wouldn’t go in that day.

I didn’t talk with him about why he didn’t seem very excited to spend the day with me or why he’s always ready for me to leave. I still haven’t.

Avoidance.

Ripples flow across the surface of my coffee as I sigh. I take another sip, wishing the cure-all to life’s mysteries and conundrums was as simple as some caffeine.

Henry’s all ready for school, and just as I pour myself a second cup for the road, the front door opens, and Mae steps in.

My son dashes over to her, and she quickly wraps her arms around him in a hug.

“Hey, kiddo. Sorry, I’m cutting it close. Are you ready for school?”

Mae’s voice sounds pinched, and while casual and easygoing has always been her demeanor, she looks particularly so. Tiredness clings to her.

“Yup. Dad’s going to drive with us.” Henry actually seems excited, and if it weren’t for the circumstances, I might be, too.

“What?”

Excited isn’t exactly the word I’d use for Mae. Her brow furrows as she looks to me, concern painted all over her face.

“I have the day off. Thought we could talk.”

“All right.”

She doesn’t say a word after that, and the chore of getting Henry loaded up into the car is punctuated by of the most awkward silences of my life.

Mae is so distant, a wave of withdrawn energy flowing off her like a warning. I don’t know how to handle it, so I just stay as quiet as she is.

I know Henry can tell something is up, so I try to chat with him through the drive. He brightens slightly, but Mae only stares out the window and nods occasionally.

The end of our nannying contract has been a very real concern all weekend, and it’s made all the worse by Mae’s attitude. Even more, I’m aware that’ll come with an end to ourrelationship, too.

She’s going to end this, and I’ve only just realized there’s athisworth saving.

Drop-off goes smoothly enough, but I know as soon as I get back to the house, Mae will leave. So I pull over at the side of the road a few blocks down from the school.

“Is something wrong?” Mae looks around the car.

“No. I just…” I sigh. “Where’s your head at today? You seem…off.”

“What do you mean?”

Frowning at her, I adjust to face her in my seat. “What do I mean? You’ve barely said a word, and last we saw each other, some pretty big stuff happened. What are you thinking about? About Johnny finding out…about us?”

She doesn’t look at me. “Reed, I…I don’t know. I think I need more time.”

“Okaaay.” I drag out the word as I stare at the steering wheel. “So are you saying you want to keep this going or pump the brakes?”

“I don’t know.”

A frustrated sigh escapes despite trying to keep my cool, and I grip the wheel hard. “Look, I know things aren’t perfect, but I’m willing to try. Create new habits with you and Henry. I want to do this right.”

“Reed.” Mae shakes her head as she continues to avoid eye contact. “It’s not that simple.”

“Nothing is simple.” I bite back the harsh tone infusing my voice. “I’m trying to be open with you, and after everything, now you’re going to block me out? I’m trying to do what you asked. Why won’t you at least talk to me?”

Mae exhales hard, her tone clipped as she responds, “I have some personal stuff going on, okay? I’m distracted, and it’s not like I was prepared to spend time with you today.”