Page 31 of Nanny for the Doctor

I run into other doctors, cutting around corners so tight I almost fly face-first into the walls.

The words of that fateful phone call ring in my mind, and my thoughts start to spiral.

What if Henry’s been in another car accident? What if he’s being rushed to surgery?

What if I’m already too late?

He could be gone already, leaving me alone.

As much as I try to tell myself to stop and take a breath, I know this is a panic attack, like all the others I’ve had, and I can’t stop it. It’s already flowing too fast, and my brain can’t find its way to a place of calm.

Adrenaline and cortisol are pumping through my veins, clouding my judgment and making my hands shake.

When I reach the ER, I find Mae sitting with Henry. He’s perched on a hospital gurney, his skin pale and his eyes red.

I can see he’s holding his wrist, and another doctor is there, standing in front of the bed.

I just make out Mae’s words to Henry. “Shh, it’s okay, Henry. You’ll be alright. Shh. You’re safe, buddy.”

I rush over, pulling up next to the attending doctor and snatching the clipboard out of his hands.

“What happened?!” My voice cuts through the quiet surrounding Mae and Henry, sharp as a scalpel.

Mae’s eyes flick up to me, and she squeezes Henry against her. “He’s okay. He hurt himself at school.”

Pushing closer, I examine my son, finding the site of his injury in his left arm. I need space, so I move Mae off the gurney and go through the rounds, checking Henry’s radius and ulna.

“Dad, wait. I want—”

“Shh, bud. Let me look at it, okay? I need to see how bad it is.”

From behind me, I hear Mae’s voice cut through the fog hanging around my head.

“He fell off the monkey bars at school. The teacher said he landed on his wrist and knocked the wind out of himself. Henry says his side still hurts a bit, too.”

I lift Henry's arms gently, examining his ribs. He hisses as I prod the area.

“You could have broken a rib, Henry. We’ll need X-rays, and I want to check his wrist, too. See if he’s broken the ulna.”

I’m speaking to the doctor behind me like he’s a nurse, but I can’t bring myself to care right now. Everything is too much.God, how could I have been absent again?

Sobs spill out of Henry as I order the necessary tests. I set his arm back down, trying to get him to look at me.

“Hey, look up here, buddy. Take a breath. You need to calm down.”

Henry shakes his head, wincing as he causes himself more pain. I try to hold him still.

“Bud, you can’t move like that. You’re going to hurt yourself.”

He cries harder, and I sigh. Mae steps up from behind me and sits next to Henry again.

“Hey, it’s alright. Shh, I know, buddy. It’s scary. But I promise you’ll be okay. You’re in a safe place, and your daddy is here to help.”

She strokes his hair, letting him lean into her.

“I know you didn’t mean to fall. Nothing is your fault. It was just an accident, okay? That happens. I’ve fallen down a ton, trust me.”

Henry looks up at Mae, sniffling and wiping under his eyes. Mae dries more tears with her sleeve.

---