Page 96 of Nanny for the Doctor

I can’t find the words, so I pull him closer, lowering my head to his chest.

“When I lost Clara, I thought I could just fill the hole left behind with work. If I saved everyone who needed me and ensured no one ever died on my watch again, I’d make up for not being there for her. I can’t explain how it feels to know I should have been there for her and Henry but wasn’t.”

He pulls me up to look at him.

“But I know now that saving a life doesn’t make up for losing one, especially someone you love. And I know that pushing everyone away, pushing Henry away, was the worst thing I could have done. When I thought I might lose you, I broke. Everything inside me snapped…”

Reed’s eyes fall, and I know he can’t finish. It’s alright, though. He’s already said more than enough.

I lift his face, framing it with my hands, and smile. Before he can say anything else, I kiss him.

It’s long and slow, both of us just focusing on the feel of the other’s skin, and then I look up at him again.

“You didn’t lose me. I’m right here, and I promise you, I’m not going anywhere.”

With shaky hands, Reed covers mine with his own. “I…”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to say anything else.” I smile softly, exhaustion starting to creep its way through me.

“No. I do.” He sucks in a deep breath, then holds my attention, unflinching. “I love you, Mae. I love you more than I ever thought I could love anyone after everything that happened. I love how you call me out on my shit. I love your sense of humor and ability to make everything fun. I love how you are with Henry, how you’ve made me see how much I was hurting him. I love you. And I never want to be parted from you ever again.”

Fresh tears fall, and I laugh as I think about everything that’s happened over the past few weeks.

“You know, I just wanted to become a teacher. I mean, I still want that. But I didn’t think there would be anything else big happening in my future. I’ve dated, sure, and I sort of hoped I’d find someone. But I’ll admit, my heart wasn’t in it. And then all this happened.”

I look between Reed and my lower belly.

“I find out you’re my nanny gig. The guy I’ve had a crush on since high school, who has always been off-limits, and suddenly I’m thrust into your life. I never thought this was a possibility, but I never got over you. I think that’s why the dating thing never worked. I was holding out for you. And I’m so glad I fell down those stairs and left that job.”

Reed and I laugh together this time.

“I love you, Reed. I’ve loved you since the day I met you, and I’m sorry that fate took Clara from you, but I am so grateful that we get this chance.”

His lips press to mine as Reed’s hand finds my stomach. “I won’t blame the universe for the accident anymore. Or myself. Bad things happen. But good things happen, too. And this is more good than I ever dared to hope for. I get a chance at a family again, and I amsohappy it’s with you.”

“Well, I hope so, because you’re officially stuck with me now.”

Reed lowers his forehead to mine. “That’s fine with me, Lil Bit. That’s perfect.”

Chapter34

Reed

The lake smell I’d once known every weekend swirls in my nose, and I can’t help but laugh as Henry tries to secure his fishing lure to the pole. It hits me, not for the first time since we got here, that I’m actually fishing at the lake with my son.

I’ve made a weekend fun for him, and it’s not even the first one.

With taking double shifts only out of necessity, I have a lot more time to spend with Henry and of course, with Mae.

It hasn’t been long since the accident, only about a month, but it already feels like I’ve been through a lifetime of changes. And I’ll be the first to admit, I didn’t know if they were possible.

“Dad!” Henry frowns at me, holding up the fishing rod and lure. “Help.”

Chuckling, I take it from him and show Henry how to tie the knot again. “Here you go, kiddo. Try again.”

Mae returns from the public restroom at the lake park and sighs as she plops down into her camp chair.

“Still nauseated?” I grin sympathetically at her.

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