Page 86 of Nanny for the Doctor

My stomach crashes through the floor, and my vision tunnels until all I can see is a wavy static clouding the floor.

“No, no, no. This isn’t…” I stand up straight and meet Stevie’s eyes. “Get me over there.”

“All right. Let’s go.”

We make it down to Stevie’s car in a flash, even the shitty elevator in my building knowing we’re in a hurry and it reaches the first floor way faster than usual.

Once we’re in the car and Stevie heads for the highway, she breaks the tense silence.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t tell anyone. I wasn’t sure what to do. It’s not like I planned this.” My heart is still thundering behind my ribs, and I thank God for Stevie’s lead foot. “I was trying to weigh the options.”

“Not to be rude, but I think you should’ve weighed them faster.” Stevie changes lanes to pass a driver with the nerve to go the speed limit.

“Gee, thanks.”

“I’m sorry, hon. Really. I wish Johnny would’ve stuck with his routine of never taking out the trash.” She hesitates, her eyes flicking over to me before returning to the road. “What are you going to say?”

“I don’t know.”

The car falls silent again, and my brain turns over all the possibilities of what I’ll find when we reach Reed’s.

I didn’t want him to find out like this, and I was so close to filling him in. At least, that’s what I’m telling myself.

Reed did seem different over the past few days, and he’d actually gone to Johnny’s work to iron out everything between them.

That was a huge step. We’d even talked about having a get together soon; Reed was going to turn down a double shift.

Tears prickle at my eyes, and I can’t stop them. Slow yet steady trickles rain down my face as passing car lights flash against my window.

“I wanted to tell him. I…I think I want to try this with him, but now he’s going to be blindsided.”

“It’ll be okay. We’ll make them understand, all right? I’m right here with you.”

But Stevie’s words drift away as it starts to rain outside. The headlights of oncoming vehicles switch on, and I find myself staring at them until my eyes ache.

What am I going to say to Reed to make him understand? What am I going to say to Johnny?

Anger flares in my gut as I imagine him screaming at Reed in full big-brother-protector mode over there.

I’ve always hated it. Sure, there’s something nice about having your brother stand up to bullies for you, but I’m not a kid anymore.

And that’s the crux of it.

Johnny treats me like I’m still a child. I’m always just a baby sister to him.

Maybe that’s why I fell so hard, so fast when it came to Reed. He never looked at me like I was just this dumb kid he had to take care of.

He looks at me like I’m a person.

Stevie exits the highway, and we take the right toward Reed’s. As we pull up, I see the lights are on, and Johnny’s truck is parked halfway in the driveway.

I hop out of the car and sprint toward the door as Stevie throws it in park. The front door is cracked open, and then I remember Henry.

Please, God, let him be asleep for this.

Just as my foot hits the porch, I hear Johnny’s voice screaming from inside.This is bad. Very, very bad.

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