Page 19 of Nanny for the Doctor

“Reed?”

Fuck. I realize I’ve been staring and quickly blink, stepping aside so Mae can pass. When I do, I hear Henry yell for her, then he’s barreling toward her.

“Hi, Henry!” Mae smiles down as Henry throws himself around her legs.

It’s been a while since I’ve received the same greeting, and a twinge of regret stabs through me.

“Come here, come here! We want to show you something!” Henry takes her hand and pulls Mae away, his new friend Bethany following close behind.

Stepping into the garage to get the beers, I swallow hard.I’m missing things. I know I am. And Jesus fuck that dress. I’m going to die.

But I shake it off. This is Johnny’s birthday party, and I want to enjoy it, not just for him but for me, too.

I rejoin Johnny at the patio table with two fresh beers, casually watching Henry and Bethany run Mae ragged around the yard. She dodges their attempts to tackle her, and I’m astonished Mae hasn’t dropped her beer.

“Henry! Wait! Just let me take a drink.”

Johnny and I laugh as she holds my son back by the forehead, trying desperately to take a swig of her Guinness.

“Well, they’re certainly hitting it off well. I’m glad to see you’re getting some help.” Johnny clinks his beer against mine, and I chuckle.

“Yeah, me too. Mae’s been great. It’s a relief not to worry about Henry.” I gulp my Sam Adams in cheers, trying to keep my eyes from landing on Mae for too long, and then nod at where they’re playing. “She’s been a huge help.”

“Mae is great with kids. I’m sure she’ll be a good teacher when she finally gets there. Maybe even a mom…or aunt.”

My eyes snap to Johnny, furrowing my brow. “Aunt?”

Johnny casually smiles. “Yeah. Stevie and I are thinking about it. We want to start a family soon. We’re not big on the marriage idea, but we both want kids.”

I sigh, dropping my eyes to stare at the space between us and fiddling with the peeling label on my beer. “Yeah. A family.”

“Reed.” I feel Johnny’s hand on my arm and I look up, struggling to pull my thoughts out of the past.

“I didn’t mean to…the accident was not your fault. You’re still a family. You and Henry.”

I nod half-heartedly. It’s been three years, but sometimes, it still feels like it was only yesterday.

“Yeah. I know.” I don’t meet Johnny’s eyes. “It’s just…yeah. It’s fine.”

“Dude.” Johnny claps me on the shoulder. “You didn’t plan on being a single dad. You have to stop beating yourself up about it. It was an accident. A tragic, horrible accident. You’ve still got Henry. Focus on that.”

I know he’s right. Still, following through is more challenging than that.

“I’m working on it. I swear.”

Smiling at Johnny and then shrugging his hand off, I take another swig. Happy screaming and laughter erupt from the grass next to us, and I look over to see the children piling on top of Mae.

Johnny and I chuckle, encouraging the kids to “get her.” It’s genuinely hilarious, but something else sings through me as I see her struggle to keep her dress from creeping any higher up her legs.

“I hope you’re paying her well.”

I snort as I set down my beer. “Oh, I am. Trust me.”

Pleasant chatter starts up around me as Johnny reminisces with his other friends and coworkers. All I can do is watch Mae roughhouse with the gang of children bent on taking her down, trying her best to accommodate the dress.

Johnny’s little sister. She’s always been this little thing in the back of my head, a tiny spark of something I know I shouldn’t be thinking about.

And I wasn’t thinking about her for the longest time, happily married and building my medical career.

---