Page 106 of Nanny for the Doctor

The entire house smells fantastic, like celebrations from childhood, and memories of a lifetime of joy ripple through my mind like a movie reel.

I smile as I watch my family enjoy a delicious meal together.

My family. Because that’s what they are.

Filled to the brim, my heart swells, and I sniff to fight back the sting of tears. I willnotcry at dinner.

Still, as the warmth of the food and the love of the people who cooked it fill me, I can’t help but be profoundly grateful.

This wasn’t supposed to happen; I had my chance at happiness, and it was taken away. Yet here I am.

Surrounded by my absolute favorite people in the world, I’m just so damn thankful for this second chance. And it’s all thanks to Mae.

While I wouldn’t have guessed I’d meet the woman I’d fall in love with when she walked up to my front door to be the nanny, I can’t say I mind.

Our relationship will be quite the story to explain to Henry when he gets older, and I’m sure as he makes friends, they’ll wonder at my much younger partner.

But the heart wants what it wants, and mine wants Mae with every beat.

I’ll never stop regretting how I didn’t get in the car with Clara that day or stop missing her, but every day hurts a little less.

My every waking minute is no longer consumed with a guilt I’m all too sure could’ve kill me, and I don’t hide away from my own son because I can’t face how like his mother he is.

I’m happy, Henry is happy, and I know deep in my bones that Clara would be happy for us.

Our son is thriving, excited to have a baby brother or sister, and loved so completely by Mae, you’d never believe she didn’t birth him herself.

I have a family again. The thing I wanted for so long, and I can see clearly how much I’ve become a better man because of it.

While the trauma still lingers, I haven’t had a panic attack in weeks, and even when I can tell something is about to set one off, I’ve actually been able to use the tools Dr. Connors taught me.

And boy, are my coworkers happy about that. Sure, they sometimes miss the guy who took every double shift, but I’ve realized plenty of other people will step up and be there when the hospital calls.

It doesn’t always have to be me. I’m allowed to take a break.

Therapy has clearly been helping. There’s peace in understanding and accepting.

I take a bite of the delicious brussels sprouts, squeezing Henry’s hand as he sits between me and Mae. She quickly notices me staring at him and looks at me with a worried smile.

Shaking my head, I grin. I whisper, “I’m good. Happy.”

Mae holds my gaze in that knowing way, and it’s a few seconds before we both return to eating. I can see my future as I look into her eyes, how she’ll grow and carry my child.

I’ll do anything to keep her with us, keep her safe, and our little baby is already so incredibly loved. I know my heart will grow to hold all the love for them when they actually arrive.

I reach for my beer again, holding it up as I meet everyone’s eyes.

“Here’s to new beginnings.”

We drink up, and I get back to the food, enjoying the mouthwatering roast beef and veggies that would give any five-star restaurant a run for its money.

Epilogue

Mae

A moment of pure bliss radiates through me, blocking out every sound in existence until I hear the brand-new cry of my baby. With a final push, Baby Finnigan comes out into the world.

Relief and exhaustion wash over me after eighteen hours of labor, and I look down at this little bundle lying on my chest, beyond excited to meet them.

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