Page 66 of Dawning and Resurgence

She weighed her options briefly but lifted from her seat and stood in front of me. I lowered my eyes to my lap and she climbed up, pressing her knees into the seat outside of my thighs. I placed my hands on her hips and moved them under the sweatshirt she wore until I felt the warmth of her skin.

“The list of people who want to use me for target practice is far less extensive than the president’s but there one.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel happy about our agreement?”

“No, but it’s my life and you’re a part of it now.” My hands tightened on her waist. “At least I hope you are.”

“I am but that’s business, which shouldn’t include me.”

“My entire life is business, including my relationships.”

“There was an s at the end of relationship which meansplural.”

“Not all relationships are intimate. Familial and friendships both apply.” I removed one of my hands from under her shirt and gripped the back of her neck, bringing her face down to mine. My lips brushed hers with the slightest touch. “You are the only relationship that’s intimate, Jhorie.”

“People think you’re still married.”

Her ex had made that reference at the club. That I had a wife at home.

“I’m a very private person. It’s not like I would broadcast my personal business to the world but my divorce was finalized the night we met. I’m not married. I do not have a wife, unless you’re offering…”

“I’m not questioning whether or not you’re married.”

I noticed she skipped right over the offering part. I almost smiled.

“If you are and want proof…”

“I don’t need proof. Your word is enough.”

I nodded and circled back. “The point of all of this is I can’t be careless with those who are important to me.Youare important. Staying in your apartment is not a decision I can be okay with. I’m not trying to upgrade your life because it embarrasses me nor am I attempting to force your hand to accept my lifestyle. I simply want you to be safe so I can sleep at night. Although I would sleep much better if you were in my bed with me, that’s not my intention. I understand the importance of maintaining your independence.”

She was second guessing everything with me because of how she’d allowed herself to be dependent on a man who hadn’t deserved her trust in his leadership. Her concerns were justified. Being submissive to the wrong man had cost her years of being unappreciated and had her guards up. In time I would prove she could trust my leadership.

“That’s part of my resistance, but I’m also fearful that if I do things the same I’ll get the same results. Before you go there, I’m not comparing you to him, I’m speaking about me and my actions.”

“You are comparing me. Regardless of what you do,myactions will play a role in whether or not you get the same results. I’m not him, Jhorie. I’m very clear about what I want and myactionswill always confirm my intentions. I have no problem giving you the space to decide if you can trust my intentions.”

“Fair enough.” Her expression shifted as she weighed her thoughts. “What about when we land? Where do you expect me to stay if not at my apartment? I’ll need time to find a place.”

I could make a call right now and have her set up in a fully furnished unit in one of Elias’s buildings but that wouldn’t be happening.

“With me for a few days until I work something out.”

“With you?” Her brow slowly crawled up.

“My family’s property. There’s enough space for you to assert your independence while you still have access to my bed.”

“I don’t need access to your bed.” Her eyes lowered to my lips then bounced back up to mine. A teasing smile crept onto my face because I saw right through her lie.

“Then you can be independent while I have access toyourbed.” Defiance flickered in her eyes but I kissed her before she had a chance to debate me. My goal was to use those days to prove to her that she could share space with me without losing or handing over all her control. Having a say in how she lived her life was important to Jhorie which meant it was important to me.

“Are we moving too fast?”

“I can’t give you an answer that won’t be biased based on how things work in my world. Marriages are considered business deals. Relationships are used as bargaining chips. They happen fast and without much consideration for the emotional side of things. Do you feel like this is moving too fast?’

“I feel like I’m in over my head. I don’t want a marriage that’s considered a business deal.”

“Neither do I. That’s not what I’m offering.”

---