Page 95 of The Naughty List

“Good for you. The change in you is fucking awesome. You’re on fire, babe.” She pauses. “BUT, these kind of games can blow your world apart. Instincts are instincts, and yours will want to charge right on out of there and out of his sight.”

I’ve already thought this through.

“And so what? If that happens, he’ll leave me alone and let me go.”

“He will, yeah. But you might be a shivering wreck, too scared to leave your room for months on end.”

I look up at the ceiling, finally facing the truth of my demons. I’m not scared of them anymore.

“Once upon a time, I was afraid to leave my room every morning, full stop. I hated being in the city, and hated work, and dreaded going to the bitch fest of a store every morning, and dreaded hanging off Connor’s arm every night, trying to convince everyone I was worthy. But I’m not that girl now. I’ve left her behind.”

Eb is right, and so am I. I have been changing. Since Eric and Jack, I’ve been flying high – despite still getting a pang of wanting to be back in the suite with them. Screw the morning after syndrome. I’ll forget about them when the next adrenaline spike hits, especially with one as powerful as User 706. These past few crazy weeks have given me a boost I never thought possible, and fuck any nerves. I can handle them.

Finally, for once in my life, I feel like I’m in control. Ironic, given the proposal I’m considering, but that hasn’t knocked me. I’m ready to face life head on. And face User 706 for an extra chunk of cash in my bank account. I don’t even bother considering thevanillasanymore.

“You don’t need to convince me,” Eb says. “If you feel up to handling it and youwantto handle it, then go for it. Click on accept. Just be careful.”

“I don’t need to be careful of him,” I repeat. “I’ve checked him out a zillion times.”

“No, not careful ofhim, Ella. Careful ofyou.”

“I do want it, actually.” I smile. “I’ve been watching videos online of this kind of stuff since I saw the proposal in my inbox. You know, I once asked Connor to grab me while I wasn’t expecting it, back when we were still dating as teens, keen for the crazy spike of endorphins at being snatched and used. It didn’t go to plan, though. He raced up behind me and lifted me up from the ground, but he ended up sayingboo, and that was it, game over, both of us in stitches.”

Ebony bursts out laughing at that, shaking her head. “Jeez.Boo.What a passion killer.”

We laugh again, back to us giggling so hard my sides hurt. I manage to take a breath and wipe the laughter tears from my eyes.

“User 706 won’t be sayingboo, will he? He’ll be binding my wrists as I flail, then throwing me into his truck like he owns me.”

“He definitely won’t be sayingboo, no.”

“Win for me.”

“Maybe.”

I’m never going to convince her, but that’s ok. I’ve surprised her before, and I’ll do it again. It might just be quite a crazy adventure in the process. Four hours of pretending I don’t want a stranger while he fucks me. But I can do it. I know I can.

I click accept. No morning after syndrome after this one.

I’m expecting he wants a night over the weekend, but no. His earliest option is Monday, and the location is a park, far on the eastern outskirts of London, amongst some housing estates. It looks rough around there. Getting snatched by User 706 will almost be a relief in that place.

The time? 1.30 a.m. – it’ll be almost daybreak by the time we’re done and finished.

I don’t get too dressed up for the occasion. Not for an experience like this. A cami top with a lace bra underneath, and a short skirt, with tights. No stockings. I want this to be authentic.

I wear heels that aren’t too high to dash in, and have my coat wrapped up tight around me as I get my cab to the park.

The driver does a double take when we reach the location. It really is the edge of a park on the side of a shithole.

“You sure this is where you want to be dropped?” She points to the nearest tower block. “Are you heading to friends or something?”

“I’m meeting someone for a walk,” I say, and she raises her eyebrows, but she’s smiling.

“Interesting time for a stroll.”

I hand my fare over, then stop before I reach for the doorhandle.

“Don’t suppose I could pre-book, could I? Can you be waiting here at just gone 5.30? Are you still on shift?”

---