Page 47 of The Wish List
I loved my sister and my niece. But even with them, I tempered my feelings. I got on well with my brother-in-law. I had a few friends I cared about. But with all of them, I drew an invisible line in the sand. I cared only so much.
That line was erased when it came to Rosie and AJ. I had no control over my emotions. My actions. Normally, I was rock solid. I made rational decisions, and I stuck to them. There was nothing rational about how I acted with Rosie. It was as if she had woken up something inside me that had been locked away.
Last night after AJ had fallen asleep on the sofa, I’d carried him to his bed and stood back as Rosie tucked him in. Seeing the sweetness of her mothering him, pressing kisses to his forehead, brushing his unruly hair off his face, made my chest ache with the tenderness of the moment. Something she was used to, no doubt, but being denied that so much of my life brought out a sensation I wasn’t used to feeling. I wanted to be part of that nighttime routine. To give and get sloppy goodnight kisses. To know the satisfaction of having my children warm and safe, tucked up for the night.
She had impressed me with the haircuts she gave the two of us. Mine looked neater, and AJ’s was far shorter and he had stopped pushing it off his face every few moments. She was a woman of many talents, even though I realized some of them, like cutting her son’s hair, were more of a necessity than a pleasure.
Rosie had bent and bestowed one last kiss to AJ’s nose and tucked the blanket around him. She snapped off the light, leaving the small one in the corner lit. She had told me he didn’t like total darkness, so it was on for him every night.
We had walked to the living room, coming together without words. Our clothing was discarded, and I sank onto the sofa, pulling her to my lap. We kissed endlessly, whispered words of desire, emotion, and shared quiet secrets. I slid inside her, the feeling of rightness at being surrounded by her settling over me. We moved and rocked on that old sofa, our pleasure blanketed by lips and tongues, our bodies releasing the tension we’d been carrying since being apart. Afterward, we dressed, and I held her close, wishing this was how I could end every day. Wondering, hoping, that one day it would be the normal.
I stared around my condo, thinking of that wish. I could see Rosie in the kitchen here. AJ and possible siblings playing on the floor. Studying and doing their homework. Having dinner as a family. Tucking them in and finding Rosie in our bed, waiting for me. Losing myself in her for a while and drifting off to sleep with her beside me.
At the moment, I loathed the fact that I was here in a warm, empty condo and she was across town, prepared to face the cold if need be. Alone. She handled everything alone.
I couldn’t allow that. I couldn’t stomach the idea of it happening.
I shook my head and strode into my office.
I had arrangements to make.
* * *
I didn’t sleep well and was up early, heading into the office. I knew it would be busy after the holiday break, and I wasn’t wrong. The building buzzed around me all day. I had investment people who made sure the money source would never end. Another group that scouted for opportunities. Staff who went through applications, sorting out the bad from the good. Lawyers and accountants.
My office was at the end of the hall, the windows overlooking the small park behind us, a rare treat in downtown Toronto. I owned the building, refusing to pay rent to someone else. I used the top two floors, and the bottom two were rented from me. That money got reinvested and used to help make others’ lives easier. My world was a constant circle of money in and money out. The bottom line was that no matter how much I gave away, it would always be replenished. My father, although lacking in emotional support, had built a strong portfolio of investments, real estate, businesses, and land. Once I was no longer an angry man, I focused on the good the money could do and stopped selling off businesses and giving away money like an idiot, and I made a career of it. I had quadrupled his portfolio, making it mine.
The sunlight bounced off the snow, reflecting on the window behind me as I studied the picture on my phone. I had snapped it yesterday while Rosie was busy. It was the January calendar for her and AJ. Her work, his school and activities, the online second job hours she had penciled in as much as she could. She was a single mother who struggled every day to be both parents to her son, while working two jobs and still making sure AJ was looked after, had outside activities, and was happy.
As I told her, she amazed me.
The one thing this schedule confirmed was that Rosie had zero time for herself. If she wasn’t working, she was shuttling AJ around, taking care of him, and once he was in bed, taking care of the apartment and her second job. She had mentioned wanting to continue her accounting education as well.
“When I can afford it,” she had added. “Maybe a couple of years away, but I’ll get it done.”
Everything she did focused on AJ. He had good, warm boots. Hers had seen better days. His winter coat was newer. Hers was well-worn and ragged along the hem. They took the bus or walked everywhere. Yet she never complained.
And now, I wanted some of her time. Which she had precious little of to spare. I wanted to figure out a way to help her, which, in turn, helped me. It was selfish, but I didn’t care.
I made a call to a friend who owned a nanny service. After describing what I wanted, Maureen was quiet for a moment. “I don’t really offer babysitting services, Asher.”
“I’ll pay double. Surely some of your nannies want extra money.”
“This is highly unusual.”
“I just need a couple of nights a week. Please.”
“I’ll see what I can do.”
I hung up, hopeful that she would figure something out. She always did. Her business had a stellar reputation. If I could prove to Rosie that AJ would be well looked after, maybe she would go out with me. I knew she didn’t want to take advantage of her neighbor all the time. And I wanted to see her more than occasionally.
I had an email with some photos attached, and I grinned as I chose the options I liked best from the selection my designer had provided. Part two of my plan was moving ahead swiftly. It helped when you owned the business you wanted a quick turnaround from.
Then, satisfied there was nothing more I could do at the moment, I turned my attention back to business. I had back-to-back meetings the rest of the day. It was always busy after returning from the holidays, and this year was no different.
Except I was different.
In ways I had never expected.
