Page 17 of Benicio

The words slipped out of his mouth before he could think, and he felt a sense of relief and sadness at the same time. Benicio was an ancient vampire, and far too powerful for him. David wasn’t sure he trusted Benicio enough to submit himself completely.

Benicio released him, sitting back on the bed. David could feel the vampire’s disappointment, and it made him feel guilty. But he couldn’t bring himself to take that leap.

“You’re wise not to do so,” Benicio said after a moment, his voice heavy. “It’s a risk.”

David took a deep breath and tried to steady his racing heart. He wasn’t sure how he’d let someone he’d just met get inside his head so deeply. “I don’t know what I want.” That was the truth. “I don’t know what you want from me. And I still don’t know what’s wrong with you.”

* * * *

Benicio saw the raw, aching need in David’s eyes. The vampire wanted him, but he was holding back. Benicio was holding back as well. He’d held his secret for so long that the details were a bit murky.

“I am not who you think I am.” Benicio had to touch David, to caress his face. Touching David, even if it was a casual caress, made Benicio feel alive again.

“What do you mean?”

As attracted as he was to David, and as much as Benicio wanted him, he wasn’t sure it was wise to tell someone who sold information for a living what he’d hidden for so long. Benicio didn’t trust easily, and he hadn’t opened up to anyone since his beloved sister.

“I get it.” David sighed as he pulled his head away from Benicio. “You don’t trust me.”

“I want to,” Benicio said, “very much, but what I hold inside of me is such powerful information, I can’t place it in the wrong hands.”

David started to get up, but Benicio grabbed his hand. “Don’t leave.”

Never in his life had Benicio needed anyone, but the thought of David leaving made him feel as if a hole was opening up in his chest.

“Why?” David looked at him. “You don’t trust me. I mean I get it because of what I do for a living, but like I said, if you ask me not to say anything, I won’t. Believe it or not, and contrary to everyone’s sneering opinion of me, I have morals. When I give my word, I mean it.”

Still…. Benicio barely knew David. The guy was asking a lot. Benicio really did want to confide in David, but after a few millennia of not trusting anyone, it was hard for Benicio to make himself that vulnerable.

“You don’t have to tell me now,” David said softly. “Just… think about it. Maybe in time you will trust me enough to want to share.”

Benicio nodded, relieved that David wasn’t pushing him but still amazed that even though David didn’t know what was going on, he wanted to stay and listen to him anyway.

“You are welcome to stay here for as long as I am in town,” Benicio said. “If you wish, I can have Matteo secure blood for you.”

David frowned. “You mean he’ll bring someone here for me to feed?” He shook his head. “I’d rather he secure bags of blood instead.”

“Squeamish?” Benicio smirked. He’d known a few vampires who balked at the idea of feeding from the vein.

David shoved at Benicio’s hand but didn’t answer him.

“Fine, I will have Matteo secure bagged blood for you.” He took David’s hand, running his thumb over the man’s soft skin. “I am who I am because of my position, David.”

David furrowed his brows.

“I pass judgment on a lot of vampires. I can’t show any signs of weakness. I can’t coddle anyone. I must always appear deadly, ruthless, even if that isn’t who I truly am.”

“So you don’t really want to be a coldhearted asshole?”

“I am the head of the council, David. My word is law, so I must be very careful what I decree. Even I have vampires I must answer to. Vampires who make sure I don’t abuse my powers.”

David was silent for a moment. “I don’t envy your life.”

“It’s a heavy burden that I must bear.”

David turned his hand over, showing his palm. Benicio took his hand, holding it. “You need someone in your corner. Do you confide in Matteo?”

Benicio wasn’t sure, but he was almost certain he detected a bit of jealousy in David. With his body betraying him, Benicio couldn’t read people so easily anymore. It was as if the affliction was robbing him of those powers, too.

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