Page 71 of For the love of Kane

“Tell me what happened.”

“I had my knife to his throat. I could see it laying wide open in my mind for what he’s done.” Tears well in Blaze’s eyes, and I feel so fucking helpless. “He said he didn’t blame me, and it wasn’t my fault. He also told me I’m not useless and that you guys were lucky to have me.”

“He’s right, Blaze.” Blaze shakes his head in denial, and I reach for him then. I scoot up until he’s sitting between my thighs and crush him against my chest.

“He said that I’m stronger than the voices and to prove it to them.” So, that’s what set him off in the shower. I repeated exactly what Jaxon said. “They were so quiet when I was with him.”

“I know,Moya lyubov’,I know.”

For the first time in my life, I have no idea what to do. I can’t let Jaxon get away with what he’s done and bring him back into my life.

But if I don’t. I might lose Blaze forever.

* * *

Two weeks have passed, and it hasn’t gotten any easier. All I can do is think about Jaxon, and Blaze is a shell of who he was. Not even Elijah can get through to him. We also never found out where Blaze left a trail of bodies because he doesn’t remember, which is even more concerning.

My phone rings, and I snatch it from my desk. “What?” I haven’t been able to control my temper, and everyone walks on eggshells around me. I can’t stand it, but I can’t fix it either.

“Lev is planning something,” Diego says. “There’s been a lot of movement over the past twelve hours.”

“And you’re just now calling to tell me?”

“I called when I had enough information to give you. What do you want me to do?”

“Sit on him. Don’t make a move and tip him off. I want to catch him in whatever the fuck he’s doing.”

“Yes, Sir.” Diego doesn’t hang up, and I know he’s waiting for me to ask the same thing I always do.

“How’s Jaxon?”

“I finally got him to come out of his room the other day. He’s fucking miserable, Kane. Look,” Diego sighs. “I know this isn’t my place, and it might get me killed, but I have to say it. What he did was beyond fucked up, but I think he got in too deep too fast. They pulled him straight from the fucking academy and put him against someone like you. They fucked him over from the beginning. He truly loves you guys.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“I think you need to give him another chance.”

I almost immediately say no, but all I can think about is Jaxon, trying to figure out if what has been done can be fixed. “I’ll call you back.”

I disconnect the call and sling it onto my desk. I reach into my desk drawer for my scotch, and my eyes land on something that has my hands sweating. I pull out the contract between me and Jaxon, laying it in front of me.

“I want you to wear my collar.” Jaxon pulls back to see my face. “I want you to be mine, and I want everyone to know that you belong to me.” I kiss him softly. “I love you, Litso kukly. I know it’s fast, but goddamn if you don’t already have my heart.”

“I want that,” Jaxon says softly. “I’ve never been this happy in my life. And it is too fast, but I love you too. You belong to me too, right?”

“Always.”

I think back to that moment, and I canseethe love in his eyes. Can you fake that? Is that something they teach you in the goddamn police academy? How to fool the most ruthless Mafia boss on the East Coast?

“Fuck!” With a sweep of my arm, I rake everything off my desk. I can’t keep doing this shit.

The door to my office busts open, and Elijah rushes in. “Are you okay?”

“No. I’m not fucking okay!” I yell. “None of this is okay. Why did he have to do this?”

Elijah slowly walks the rest of the way into the office and shuts the door behind him. “You can fix this with him, Kane.” I know that Eli has been going to see Jaxon almost every day, and it initially pissed me off. But I know that Eli is holding out hope that we can all get back to the place we were at. “You just need to talk to him.”

“Jaxon shouldn’t be breathing,” I hiss. “If anyone else ever finds out that I let him live after betraying me, I lose all the respect I’ve worked so hard to gain.” I drop my head into my hands, massaging my temples.

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