Page 24 of I Shouldn't Feel This Way

“I can’t imagine you going psychotic on a potential date I bring home.”

“Trust me, you don’t want to find out. I can be a real dick sometimes. You’re too young to date anyway.”

Hmm. This seemed like a good opportunity to test the waters.

“Well, what if I go to that private school you plan to get me enrolled in, and I meet this hot, charismatic guy who just so happens to be captain of the swim team?”

He shot me a quizzical look.

“And say he’s also captain of the debate team, so that makes him athletic, intelligent,andextremely good-looking. Tall, brown hair, seductive blue eyes …”

Oh Lord.I just described Noah.

“Not to mention a muscular build, kissable lips, with a really big—”

“Okay, let’s skip the detailed description.” He chuckled uneasily. “But go on.”

“—heart.” I giggled. He probably thought I was going to name a body part. “Would you let me date him if I brought him home for you to meet? What if he passed the douchebag test with flying colors?”

“Sweetheart, first off, no guy you bring home is ever going to pass the douchebag test with flying colors. Every man has borderline asshole tendencies, including me. The guy could suck up to me and address me as ‘sir’ all he wants—it’s all a façade, because of one blatantly obvious fact.”

“Are you saying he wouldn’t be genuine?”

“No, he wouldn’t.”

“And why not? What if he was in love with me?”

“Boys your age are too stupid and horny to understand what love is. They’re all conquered by their cocks. Forgive my bluntness and the degree of vulgarity in this discussion, but I speak the truth. The only evidence that can be gathered from all the BS conversations he would have with me is the fact that he’s strictly motivated to get in your pants. And there is no way in hell I’m going to allow that to happen.

“I don’t want to see you shed a single tear over some bastard who will break your heart. I’d make any man cry tears of blood if he ever hurt you, but I’d also risk jail time because I don’t think I would let him live.”

I found his territorial attitude disturbingly sexy.

“With that being said,” headded, “please be a little compassionate and sympathetic toward your dad, and try to see things from my point of view. You mentioned that I’m still young. Well, I’m admitting that I’m too young to serve a life sentence. I would hate to exchange my Armani suits for orange jumpsuits for the rest of my life.” He looked at me with all seriousness, then relaxed his expression and laughed.

“You’re so protective of me.”

Noah grabbed my hand and gave it a soft kiss while keeping his gaze hot and seductive. Okay, I’ll be honest, he probably wasn’t being seductive or sexy on purpose. It was my own sick mind that was interpreting those stares in such immoral ways.

“You’re young, Aria. I know that if I say no to boys, you’ll go and date some jerk behind my back. And if you get your heart shattered, you’d keep it from me because you’d know you weren’t supposed to date. I wouldn’t be able to comfort you and love you back to happy health. I’d rather practice democratic parenting instead of coming off as a dictator. You can date, but I want to meet him first—and no staying out past eleven. If you’re going to have sex, use protection. I can’t imagine you as a teen mom.”

“Noah …”

Oh boy, this was getting awkward. Fast.

“You’re just a teenager. I wish you wouldn’t even think about boys that way.”

“Noah …”

“I’m going to buy you a big book on STDs, with pictures, so you’ll know what the consequences of unprotected sex can look like, and—”

“Dad, I’m a virgin!” I pretty much screamed it and he immediately stopped talking. I couldn’t tell if he was more shocked that I’d called him “Dad” or that I’d confessed my virginity.

“Uh, well … that’s great. That makes me feel …”

Awkward pause.

“Really—very—happy because …”

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