Page 168 of I Shouldn't Feel This Way

I didn’t know why his words hurt me so much. He was only being honest and realistic. I guess I just didn’t want to live in reality anymore. I much preferred to live in my own little dream bubble, a place where Noah and I were not related and were free to love each other and be together forever. At this point, I was content with imagining us prancing around as Teletubbies if it meant we would be together in some warped dimension other than here. Noah would be the Dipsy to my Laa-Laa …

Okay, seriously, scratch that. I didnotjust say that. Not only did it sound wrong and borderline perverted, but Noah was a sex god! How could I even dare to imagine him as a Teletubby? I really needed to get my head checked.

“You still haven’t told me what you were doing with Evan—are you listening to me? Anyone alive in there?” He waved his hand in front of my eyes, and that’s when I came crashing down to Planet Earth.

“I don’t want you to be my dad!” I made sure to yell it loud enough for my stepmom to hear. “I don’t need a father! All these years I did just fine without one, because let’s face it, Rob doesn’t exactly qualify. You want to know why I was riding in a car with your brother? I stole his number from Vienna’s phone this morning, after you made my heart bleed! I contacted him and we met up at the mall.”

All the life suddenly faded from Noah’s vibrant eyes.

I stood up again, distancing myself from him. But it was pointless because he rose to his feet as well.

“We were talking over lunch for hours and guess what I found out? He’s an even better person than I had imagined! He’s not bossy and controlling like you! He cares about my feelings! And he’s funny!” I just had to throw that in there.

“Are you saying I lack a sense of humor? You really believe I’m controlling?” Noah frowned, towering over me once again. Maybe he did this on purpose to make me feel inferior to him. I hated it.

Raising my hands in defeat, I backed away from him. “I need to get out of this house.”

“Where are you going?”

“Anywhere but here.” I took off my sundress and stood in a red bra and panties. He didn’t look away, which sort of gave me a gratifying sense of pleasure.

“Aria, stop this.”

“Stop what? The undressing part, or the leaving part?” I sauntered over to my dresser and pulled on a pair of black denim shorts.

“Both.”

Without the slightest care, I unfastened my bra and tossed it on the bed.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” Noah looked away, obviously embarrassed by my lack of modesty.

“You felt these up for hours last night—” I began.

“I did not!”

“Now you won’t even look at them? Unbelievable.” I marched into my closet, put on a peach-colored tube top, and then walked out again.

“Just stay.” Noah stepped in front of me. “Calm down a bit, please.”

“No! Move! I want to leave!” I stared him down with a scathing expression, but he refused to surrender. “You can’t keep me locked up in my bedroom!” I was erratic and unable to think sensibly.

“I can and I will! I told you how I felt about Evan, and you went behind my back, conspiring to meet him!”

There was an eerie silence between us, like the calm before the storm.

“I hate you,” I said, icing my tone with spite. “You’ll never understand me.”

Attempting to step around him proved pointless, because he moved with me and blocked my way again.

“You’re driving me nuts!” I said. “Let me go already!”

“No!”

“I said, move!” I pushed him back in anger, but it was like trying to move a heavy boulder. He hardly even budged.

Well, that was a failed effort. Comical, in fact,I thought.

Noah grabbed me by the shoulders and stared at me with a vicious hunger in his eyes. I wasn’t sure if it was rage or desire. Maybe it was both. Our emotions were out of control, and we both needed a time-out.

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