Page 156 of I Shouldn't Feel This Way

aria

Waking up alone was sort of disappointing. I’d had a very deep sleep, and although I didn’t dream of Noah, the previous night’s events certainly felt like a dream. I was happy they weren’t. For a second, I thought I was late for school, but then I remembered I had no classes for the day. This particular Monday morning didn’t have to suck, and I welcomed it with a big smile. A flood of memories from the night before filled my mind. Everything had been so perfect and romantic. It still didn’t bother me knowing that I was engaging in a very risky relationship with Noah. How could I explain these feelings to my friends? No one would understand. Imagine how that conversation would go if I told my mom about him and me. I was sure she would collapse from shock or call the cops right away. The sheer thought made me shudder in fear. I never wanted to get him in trouble with the law. I was an adult now, free to make my own decisions. I was in love with him, and there was no way I would let him take the fall if we ever got caught. This was something I wanted. The world didn’t have to understand. All that mattered was that we understood each other. From the moment we met, Noah got me in ways no one else could. He was able to read my emotions without me even breathing a word. He gave me all the affection and love that I needed. But the more he gave, the greedier I got. Fatherly affection wasn’t enough anymore.

I finally pulled myself out of bed and took a quick shower. Once I got out, I blow-dried my hair, straightened it, and dressed myself before walking to the kitchen. It was ten in the morning and no one else seemed to be awake.

Maybe Noah’s in his study.I smiled at the thought and skipped downstairs to wake him up with a sexy surprise. But he wasn’t there. My heart immediately dropped. It was possible that he had gone to work, even though he had mentioned that he might take the day off. I stepped into the garage just to check and be sure. All his cars were parked.

Oh God, please don’t tell me he’s sleeping next to her.I didn’t want to believe it, but before I knew it, I was climbing up the stairs leading straight to their bedroom.

He’s not going to be there, he’s not going to be there …I kept saying it over and over in my head as I slowly approached the white double doors.

Taking a deep breath, I carefully twisted the doorknob and peered inside.

This can’t be real … no … no … Why did I come up here!

Crystal tears began to mist my vision, streaking down my face. Clearly, I wasn’t prepared for a discovery like this. Vanessa was spooning Noah. They were under the covers, and I was certain they were sleeping in the nude because all their clothing was on the floor. He’d had sex with her!

How can he do this to me?I couldn’t handle this obscene display. It was like I had woken up from a beautiful dream only to realize that I was stuck in a sick, nightmarish reality. I couldn’t stomach watching any longer. That heart-shattering image was already burned into my brain.

Hurrying down the stairs, I tried not to make too much noise, but I feared my stifled cries were louder than my feet hitting the floor.

Why does Vanessa always have to ruin every cherished memory I create with Noah? Does she have spidey senses or something? Does she know about us?Maybe I was just losing my mind.

I threw myself on my bed and buried my face in a pillow. I almost wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, but my extreme jealousy was interfering with any rational thought. I was hurt and angry. Separating my emotions from certain situations had always been difficult for me. With a heavy heart, I cried in silence, feeling so betrayed. He’d told me he would keep her in friend zone. He hadpromised. Was he so sexually frustrated the night before that he’d needed an easy lay? As if that was supposed to make my wounded ego feel better! It didn’t. Even if Noah was using Vanessa for sex, he hurt me deeply. I didn’t want him to share any part of himself with that woman—or any other woman, for that matter. I truly felt that he belonged to me. Finding him in bed with my stepmom crushed me. He’d been so unbelievably sweet the previous night. What we’d shared with one another wasn’t just kissing, touching, or fooling around—it was so much more. We had connected on physical and emotional levels. At no time had I felt guilty or dirty. Making out with Noah made me feel pure and loved. I knew he was still freaked out by everything that was going on between us. It was all happening so fast. But that was expected, since we ignored our attraction for six months. It had built and built until it had been bound to avalanche over us. All those feelings had hit me with an unbelievable impact.

I finally sat up and wiped my tears away, refusing to allow him to screw me up like this. Noah was the only man who was capable of hurting me so much. I wasn’t going to imprison myself in my room all day and cry my eyes out. No, I was going to get even. I stood up, marched out the door, and headed to the guest bedroom. I hoped Vienna was still asleep as I tiptoed into her room. Her iPhone was right on the nightstand, next to her bed. All I had to do was reach over and grab it. At least she didn’t sleep in the nude—although if she’d been sleeping next to Noah, I doubt she would have kept her clothes on either. I knewIwouldn’t.

Careful not to wake her, I stealthily grabbed the cellphone and scrolled down her contact list. Evan Alderson, Evan Gallagher …Jeez, how many Evans did she know?

Evan Hunter—found him!I memorized his number and placed the white phone back in its original position. It helped having photographic memory.

Vienna suddenly shifted on her side, and I freaked out because I thought I had woken her. But her eyes stayed closed. This was my cue to get the hell out of there, so I quietly left her bedroom and pulled out my cell to save Evan’s number and text him before I’d forget.

Hey! Guess who’s texting u? ;)

I had no idea why my heart was beating so hard. I guess I was just nervous. About thirty seconds later, my cellphone vibrated:

Britney?

I stared at the name, smiled, and shook my head, texting:

Nope.

Ten seconds later:

Jill?

It had never occurred to me that he would be so popular with the ladies. My uncle was good-looking, though—that shouldn’t have surprised me.

Try again.

I waited and received another incoming message:

Um … Kiki?

I couldn’t help but laugh. Was he seriously a man-whore?

Not even close.

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