Page 131 of I Shouldn't Feel This Way

“Take it out for a spin tomorrow. It’s a full blown Z-28 and has a five speed Hurst shifter. Can you drive clutch?”

“Yes!”

That was the only useful thing my stepdad had ever taught me.

I walked around the vehicle, in awe that it was actually mine. Rob would never have done something like this for me. I would have been happy with an old, beat up car, as long as it was mine and would get me from point A to point B.

I noticed a black phoenix airbrushed on the hood of the Firebird just like on the toy version, and the design was even more beautiful. It reminded me of Noah’s tattoo. His smitten smile remained, as I walked over to him.

“I’m speechless.”

“I told you that I wanted to make your life better. I meant that.”

Noah was the kind of father every girl dreamed of having. He was loving, nurturing, and so supportive. He was the type of dad I’d wanted Rob to be like. Noah possessed every amazing quality I had wanted in a father, and as the realization settled in my mind, I felt such despair because I knew that I was jeopardizing our bond. I wanted things from him he could not give, things he wasn’t supposed to. It was unnatural. Why couldn’t I love him the way a daughter loves her doting dad? Why couldn’t I eliminate lust from the equation? Would that have helped? Was that even possible through cognitive efforts?

Noah reached for my hand and raised it to his lips. “I’d do anything to see you smile like this every day.”

“I don’t deserve this.” I sniffled, wiping my tears. “I don’t deserve any of this.”

He frowned and cupped my face. “You deserve so much more, Aria.” His eyes became lovingly warm as he repeated, “So much more.”

“But this is your car. It’s a classic!”

“And I wantyouto have it. California is now your permanent place of residence, and you need a nice convertible to match your lifestyle. I thought about buying you something newer, but this car was really special to me. I restored it for you.”

My heart trembled. “I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For complicating us.”

“It’s not your fault.”

Then whose fault was it? We faced each other, both afraid to make a move. My body craved his touch, and my lips yearned for his kiss. I think he realized that we had been careless during the dinner party, or maybe he was sober now that we weren’t tangled in each other, kissing and touching,sinning.

“It’s late, princess.”

Yes, it was.

“Kiss me goodnight, Noah.”

He stared at me with a contemplative gaze before he leaned in closer. His lips were inches away from mine, and as I closed my eyes, I felt the softest kiss against the corner of my mouth.

“Goodnight, Aria.”

Fate had been so unkind to me, tous. I would have traded in this beautiful car to live a beautiful lie with Noah if it were possible. I would have given up everything if it meant that I could have my own happy ending in this fucked up fairy tale.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

aria

There I was, on a big white yacht, sailing away into the sunset. But I wasn’t alone. Although I couldn’t see him from where I was standing, I could feelhimclose by. His arms slowly snaked around my waist from behind, kissing my neck and shoulder. I felt the wind in my hair and the sun bathing my skin with warmth as he slowly untied the strap of my white bikini top. His fingertips brushed down my naked shoulders until they found their way to my globes of flesh. He cupped them gently in his hands, rubbing and teasing my hardened peaks, whispering naughty things in my ear. I shivered and arched my back against his firm chest, resting my head in the crook of his neck. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, and this only made my heart pound faster. Flesh against flesh, Noah’s scent all over me.

I told you I’d give you the world, Aria. But you don’t want the world, do you? You want me. I’m offering you all of me … forever.

His whispering seductions echoed in my ears as I felt a pleasurable pull inside. I was beyond aroused and ready to surrender to him. Something hard was pressing against me. The thought of experiencing the most taboo sex positions with Noah didn’t feel like such a physical violation. It really turned me on. This sudden realization made me happy because I knew that I would be able to offer so much more to him—all of myself, completely. I was lost in a passionate reverie that felt so real.

Disappointment was hard to digest when I woke up, abducted from my blissful place of rapture. I had been dreaming, and I could still feel his breath against my neck. My shoulder tingled when I touched it, smiling at the dream hazed memory.

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