Page 124 of I Shouldn't Feel This Way

****

Vienna’s guest bedroom door swung open as she stepped inside and gathered all her mental strength to reveal the truth she had accidentally uncovered. As soon as Vanessa walked in, Vienna shut the door and reluctantly met her sister’s eyes.

A look of worry washed over Vanessa’s grim face. “Are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“No, I’m not okay, I’m actually sort of freaking out.”

“What’s wrong, Vienna?” she asked, watching her pace.

Vienna rubbed her temples and released a deep breath before she stopped patrolling the floor. “It’s about your husband.”

“Noah?” Vanessa looked confused. “What about him?”

Vienna was extremely apprehensive. She had no idea how to break the news to her sister about what she had witnessed. All she knew was that the truth had to come out. Bracing herself for the worst, she began to speak. “I was walking down the hall, heading toward my room, when I noticed Noah and Aria standing in the foyer. They were talking with Ryan.”

Vanessa folded her arms against her chest and quirked an eyebrow. “Were you eavesdropping on their conversation?”

“This is the part where you’re going to get mad, but please believe me when I say that I was justified to eavesdrop. Just hear me out.”

Vanessa heaved and made an encouraging gesture with her hand. “Fine, go on.”

“There is no other way to say this, so I’m going to come right out and say it.” Vienna paused, preparing herself for the moment when the ugly truth would be revealed. “I saw Noah and Aria …” She dawdled. “…kissing,right after Ryan left.”

An awkward silence fell upon the sisters. Neither of them moved.

Finally, Vanessa spoke. “I’ve seen Aria give her dad a quick peck on the lips before.” She laughed. “Numerous times, in fact. I’m sure you’re misjudging what you saw, which I don’t blame you for at all, given your past.”

“Vanessa, I know what I saw! Your husband wrapped his arms around your stepdaughter’s waist, pulled her in close, and kissed her on the mouth like the French do in France!”

Has she lost her mind?Vanessa thought. She didn’t want to abandon her calm composure, but there was so much anger and resentment that clandestinely lingered inside of her. It was extremely difficult not to lose her temper and blow up at Vienna. The two of them shared an unpleasant history of jealousy, competitiveness with boys, and very turbulent teenage years together.

“Are you saying,” she began, “that Noah is having an incestuous affair with his daughter behind my back?”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying. You took the words right out of my mouth—thank you.”

“Stop this right now, Vi. I don’t think you understand the degree of damage this can cause my marriage if I confront Noah with these absurd accusations.”

“Why don’t you believe me?”

Vanessa exhaled loudly and took a step forward to rest a comforting hand on her sister’s shoulder. “I know Cousin Tom really messed you up, but this isn’t the same situation. For one, my husband is not an adulterer, and secondly, he’s not an immoral scumbag preying on his teenage daughter.”

“What happened with Tom is irrelevant to this situation. I know what I saw! And I’m telling you that you need to confront Noah!”

“I will do no such thing. Clearly, you’re still sick in your head and haven’t got over what happened all those years ago.”

“Sick in my head? How can you even say that to me?” Vienna jerked her shoulder back so that Vanessa’s hand was no longer touching it.It hurts that you lack so much faith in me, she thought. Unfortunately for Vienna, she was never very good at expressing herself. Masking her sensitivity with anger always seemed like the safest and easiest option. “I’m trying to help you out here!” she snapped.

“Help me out?Just because you had an incestuous love affair with our cousin doesn’t mean everyone else is!”

The sisters shared a dark family secret, a secret Vienna had burdened them with many years ago. She had fallen in love with her cousin when she was sixteen, and Tom was much older than her—six years her senior. Needless to say, her parents had disapproved of the relationship and were horrified when they eventually found out she was trying to get pregnant.

“I wasn’t having an affair! I was in love with him! I was young and stupid. He took advantage of me, and I needed years of therapy to recover. You know how it all went down, Nessa.”

He’d done more than taken advantage of her. Tom had convinced Vienna that incest was acceptable, and that it should be practiced in every family—fathers and daughters, mothers and sons, brothers and sisters …Vanessa had discovered her sister’s disturbed mental state when she read her diary one night. Vienna wanted to have a child with Tom, so that he could engage in a sexual relationship with his own offspring once that child reached the age of consent. Vanessa suspected that he was a closet pedophile and decided to tell her parents. They had no reservations about intervening. Vanessa begged her mother not to tell Vienna that she had read her diary, so her mother shouldered the blame and told her youngest daughter thatshehad violated her privacy. All hell broke loose, relationships were broken, and the Carlisle family unit was destroyed for a very long time.

Vanessa debated how to communicate herself. “You believed that there was nothing wrong with incest and that everyone was capable of doing it.”

“That’s because of Tom’s brainwashing!” Vienna said defensively. “I was in love with him. The sad part is that he just used me for sex and had this sick obsession with incest! Why can’t you understand? I was young and easily influenced. Do you even know how badly that ordeal emotionally scarred me? I’ve been in and out of therapy ever since. Mom and Dad still won’t treat me the same because they feel ashamed of me. I humiliated the family.”

---