Page 116 of I Shouldn't Feel This Way

“When exactly did you make this decision?” asked Noah.

“I know it sounds last minute, but I called Teddy and Anna earlier, and also invited Lewis and his family. I know you said that Aria doesn’t want a party, so I decided it would be nice to just host a casual dinner with some close friends. Is that okay, honey?”

He looked a little apprehensive but finally answered, “If Aria’s okay with it, so am I.”

“It’s fine. I don’t mind.”

There was no use in making a big deal out of it. I didn’t want to hang around and listen to the rest of their boring conversation, so I marched into my room, grabbed a couple magazines, and walked out onto the patio. It was certainly a perfect day to catch a cinnamon tan.

How can he sleep with her after what we shared last night? How?I couldn’t understand … and then it all made sense. Noah had never said that he was in love with me. Maybe all he felt was attraction and nothing more. Maybe my silicone stepmom had me beat in the love department. As depressing as it was, I promised myself that I wouldn’t allow him to get to me. I would only have to survive this night, and then I’d escape to New York without anyone knowing. I’d have to get over him, somehow.

Reclining on a comfortable lounger, I opened up an issue ofSeventeenmagazine and started leafing through it. In no time at all, a dark shadow was hovering above me. Someone sat down, and judging by the masculine feet, I didn’t even need to look up to identify the person. I knew exactly who it was.

“Aria, I need to talk to you.”

“There’s nothing to talk about, Noah.”

Determined to avoid eye contact, I put on my sunglasses and flipped page after page at a leisurely pace.

“Listen to me, what you heard earlier is not—”

“I don’t care. I honestly don’t. She’s your wife, right?” I watched his puzzled expression through the tinted shield of my shades. “Let’s put last night behind us, okay?” There was a huge lump at the back of my throat, but I swore I wouldn’t shed a single tear again. I was so tired of crying in front of him.

He parted his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Perhaps this was what he wanted all along, to forget. Well, I sure as hell wasn’t going to tell him about my plans.

“Are you all right?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” I made a pathetic attempt at a smile and then stared down at the magazine again. It wasn’t like I was actually reading it. None of the words were registering in my head, but Noah couldn’t know that, of course. I’m sure from his perspective, it looked like I was completely uninterested in anything he had to say.

“Then why are you being so distant?”

“I’m not being distant—I’m being realistic.” I stood up and unzipped my shorts, shaking them off until they dropped to my feet. His eyes wandered down my body as I removed my sunglasses and carefully tossed them on the lounger. “Last night was a mistake and wasn’t supposed to happen, correct?”

I didn’t give him an opportunity to respond. Instead, I dove right into the pool. It felt so good to be submerged under water. I began swimming laps, praying that he would be gone by the time I resurfaced. And surely enough, the mysterious demigod that had graced me with his unexpected visit had vanished by the time I came up for breath. All that was left in the air was a trace of Givenchy, the only evidence proving that our encounter had been very much real, and not in my head.

****

Avoiding Noah became a manageable assignment for the remainder of the afternoon. In fact, I think we were both avoiding each other on purpose. I’d chatted with my Mom and the twins on Skype through webcam for a while, and they wished me a happy birthday. It was so nice to see their faces because I missed them. Mom had sent me a heartfelt b-day card a few days ago, so I thanked her for that. She apologized about not being able to do more for me due to the financial problems that she and Rob were experiencing, but I’d told her that I wasn’t expecting anything, and that having her love was all I needed.

Afterward, I’d decided to call Jade and Ally and thank them for the beautiful birthday video they had made for me and posted on Facebook. It was a video montage of all our favorite photos and memories together through the years. I’d spent about five minutes crying through the song they had used in the video, Spice Girls “Goodbye.” We had performed that song during a talent show in eighth grade with another classmate. I was Sporty Spice, Jade was Scary Spice, and Ally was Baby Spice. I really did have the most amazing friends. No matter how far we were, we’d always be there for each other. I was sure of it.

I spent most of my time out of the house, shopping with some of my girlfriends at the mall. Jessica took me out for a birthday lunch and a manicure like she had promised. By the time I returned home, it was almost five o’clock in the evening and I noticed that Vanessa had gone overboard with the dinner preparations. She had hired a chef at the last minute to cook for us, and of course she would—the woman couldn’t cook to save her life.

“Aria, is that you?”

I rolled my eyes and dragged my feet from the foyer to the kitchen.

“Yeah.”

“Great. Did you get my text earlier? I never got a response. I wasn’t sure if you had any semiformal dresses—you know, like a cute little cocktail dress? So, I took the liberty of going through your closet, and I’ve laid out a couple selections on your bed.”

“Come again?”

Did you seriously go through my clothes? Where else did you go poking your nose into?I seethed.

“I really think purple is your color,” she added.

Purple was not my color, and it took every ounce of effort not to bite her head off.

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