Page 112 of I Shouldn't Feel This Way

“We need to stop.” Noah pulled himself away from my lips and tried to catch his breath. “I won’t be able to control myself much longer.”

I slowed my breathing down and shook my head. “I don’t want you to control yourself. Just let go.” I kissed him hard and confidently. My hard-earned victory was suddenly ripped away from me again when he found the strength to withdraw.

“Baby, listen to me.” He pressed his forehead against mine and calmed his labored breathing. “You’re a virgin.”

“Is that why you don’t want me, because I’m inexperienced?” I felt crushed. “I can learn.” My eyes welled up with tears.

He stared at me, speechless, and it was making me feel worse.

“I’m so stupid.” I turned my face away so that he wouldn’t see me get emotional.

“Hey, look at me.”

I wouldn’t meet his eyes.

“Look at me, Aria,” he said in that stern, sexy voice that made my stomach tighten. With much disinclination, I finally met his gaze.

“Your first time shouldn’t be with me.”

What? Was he insane?I was able to think of a hundred different reasons why he should have been my first.

“I disagree.” I sighed in frustration and raised my upper body on my elbows. Perhaps resorting to more seductive tactics would have been helpful. Pressing my lips right against his ear, I whispered in a low voice, “Don’t you want to know what it’s like to be the first person to penetrate my tight, wet—”

“That’s enough!” Noah looked angry.

I watched him carefully, imagining a blazing ring of fire around the iris of his eyes. It was hypnotizing me. Of course I was scared out of my mind. For the most part, I had tried to be prim and proper, and here I was seducing him like a dirty little whore, but I could sense that I had enticed his appetite. I had provoked something within him to come out from its iron cage. I knew there had to be a part of him that wasn’t all man, because the reflection in his eyes had transformed, replaced with eyes of a beast—a very hungry beast. And there I was, a delicious little lamb, so willing to sacrifice herself for the slaughter.

Just as quickly as that look resurfaced, it faded. Noah was armor-plated once again, preventing that part of him from showing.

“Don’t say those things.” He frowned, obviously displeased by my attempts to make him abandon his conscience. I felt so sad when he rolled off my body and stood up.

Great, way to blow it!Panic filled my heart, as I sat upright and watched him pick his shirt up from off the floor. I had upset him, pushed the boundaries too far. It had been wrong of me to get so gutsy.

“I—I’m sorry,” I stuttered like a fool. “Please don’t go.”

That flaming phoenix disappeared from his chest, quickly covered by the gray fabric of his shirt.

“I don’t know what I’m doing here, to be honest,” he said. “I shouldn’t be doing this with you.”

Here it was: the guilt, the confusion.

“I understand you’re freaking out,” I stated, “but it doesn’t have to be this way.” I got off my bed and approached him, the soles of my feet softly padding along the wooden panels.

“Aria, I can’t have sex with you.” He sounded so resolute.

“You can kiss me, but you can’t have sex with me? Do I repulse you that much?”

“Don’t start—you know that’s not true.” There were still fading fragments of fossilized magma in his eyes.

“Please, don’t push me away.” I wrapped my arms around his waist and hid myself in his chest.

“This is all just moving way too fast for me.” Noah exhaled deeply and lifted my chin. “But I won’t push you away, I promise.” His lips lightly caressed against mine.

A promise sealed with a kiss.

“I have to go, and you need to rest.”

“Noah …”

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