Page 110 of I Shouldn't Feel This Way

“I’m riding shotgun!” Vanessa said.

“Duh, you’re the wife after all,” Vienna replied.

Unfortunately,I thought in dismay.

My stepmom was irritating me to the extreme. It wasn’t fair. I wanted to sit next to Noah. That’s whereIbelonged, not her. But I kept my mouth shut and silently grieved over my disappointment when he finally let go of my hand and opened his door. It was time to go home, and I knew that we would walk into that house as two different people. The dynamic of our relationship had got a hundred times more complicated than it already had been. But it didn’t matter to me. As long as Noah didn’t deprive me of him, I didn’t care about how wrong it was to want him and give in to our desires. It felt right in my heart.

****

The wind breezed through my hair as we sped down the freeway. Vanessa cranked up the music and started singing off-key to a Katy Perry song, which didn’t last long because Noah killed the radio and turned on his own playlist.

“Hey, I was listening to that!” my stepmom complained.

“Sorry, honey, but if I listened to another second of that song, I would have surely crashed the car.”

“He meant yourvoice.” Vienna laughed.

“You two are so mean! Don’t pick on my lovely singing!”

“Sorry, sis, the truth hurts. You’re lucky Simon Cowell’s not in the car with us.”

“Oh, whatever! You’re no idol either!”

“I never said I was!”

If Vanessa auditioned forAmerican Idol, all of America’s ears would bleed and suicide rates would spike uncontrollably. Over exaggerating—again. (But she really did suck.)

Noah turned up the volume and stepped on the gas, speeding past some cars. I loved the beats but didn’t recognize the song, so I leaned over and read the track that was scrolling on the stereo:Mads Langer - You’re Not Alone (Sako Isoyan Remix).It was way better than the lamestream music that had been playing on the radio. He had the best taste in tunes. I loved everything he listened to. This night had turned out so amazing.

I caught Noah staring at me a few times through his rearview mirror. Just knowing that he was watching me made me feel so desired, because it let me know that I was on his mind. I tried to hide my smile as we kept stealing glances at one another all through the ride home.

It wasn’t until he parked the car in the driveway that I realized I’d actually been dreading this moment.

****

The hour hand was reaching close to one in the morning. Everybody was tired, which meant Noah and my stepmom would be going to bed soon.

Oh, please, no …The thought of Vanessa getting it on with him made me sick to my stomach. She hadn’t been able to keep her hands off of him all evening. I silently prayed to whatever god existed to take pity on me and stop Noah from sleeping with her. Our new situation was complicated, and I had underestimated just how much it would be. I didn’t want to feel like the other woman, nor did I want to share him with her. The only thing I truly desired was to have Noah all to myself.

“I’m off to bed,” said Vienna. “I’ll see you guys in the morning.” She kissed Noah and Vanessa’s cheek, and then felt the need to pet me on the head like a child, which pissed me off. But sure enough, I remained on my best behavior.

My stepmom was halfway down the hall when she turned around and asked Noah, “Are you coming to bed, honey?”

“I’ve got some work to finish up,” he replied. “I’ll join you later.”

“Are you sure it can’t wait until tomorrow?”

“No, it can’t.”

Wow, she really was desperate for sex. It infuriated me, and I imagined shooting arrows at her forehead like Katniss Everdeen inThe Hunger Games.I would need only one arrow, because I wouldn’t miss. The multiple attacks that would follow would strictly be for my own amusement. I swear I wasn’t a violent person … not in real life. However, in my make-believe world, just about anything was possibleandpermissible.

Vanessa walked back toward us, swaying her hips like an amateur runway model. It actually made me want to laugh because she thought she looked sexy walking like that, when in fact she looked like a waddling, anorexic Barbie doll with silicone boobs, a bad dye job, and a very unflattering trout pout.

“Okay, sweetheart.” She slid her arms over his shoulders. “Then I’ll say goodnight to you now.” My stepmom kissed him on the lips, making this obnoxiously nasal sounding giggle.

I didn’t stick around to watch. Instead, I turned a heel and marched straight to my room.

Screw her—I’m not going to say goodnight,I thought scathingly.

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