Page 97 of I Shouldn't Feel This Way

He smiled and rolled on his side. “It’s nothing, sweetie.” Noah bent his elbow and rested his head in his hand. “Just some stuff between Vanessa and me.”

“Oh, okay.” I wasn’t going to push. The last time I did, things hadn’t turned out so well and I wasn’t in the mood to argue with him.

He checked me out. “You’re looking pretty this evening.”

“Thanks.” I smiled and stood up, making my way toward him. I was wearing a light blue denim skirt and a white halter top with a white thong and strapless bra underneath. My hair wasn’t straight tonight. I had styled and waved it with a curling iron. Girls loved it when guys noticed the little things. We always put effort into looking good for our men. Too bad Noah wasn’t mine. Still, I appreciated that he noticed.

“You don’t look too bad yourself,” I said flirtatiously, sitting down next to him. The temptation to lie on his chest and mold my body into his was killing me.

“It’s nice to know that at least someone approves of my outfit. Vanessa was hell-bent on making me wear this ugly purple polo shirt she bought while she was shopping with her sis.”

I laughed and looked down at him.

“She’s still doing her makeup,” said Noah. “It takes her hours to get ready for a night out.” He exhaled deeply and rubbed his eyes before fixing his gaze on me. “I figured I’d give the ladies some time alone and come bug you instead.” Those lips slanted into an attractive grin.

“Well, FYI, you don’t bug me.”

“Aw well, that’s too bad. I guess I’m not doing my job as a father, then.”

I chuckled. “How so?”

“Because every dad is supposed to be annoying. At least mine was, from what I can remember.”

He never talked about his father. All I knew about my granddad was that he had passed away years ago.

I stretched and reclined on my back next to Noah. We both stared at the ceiling in silence as my iPod switched tracks to a chill tune, “You in Me”by Volor Flex. The song had a very ambient, 2-step garage sound to it.

“I feel like getting high.”

Nope, it wasn’t me who said that.

“And I probably shouldn’t be saying that to my teenage daughter.”

Noah turned his head and looked at me with all seriousness. “Don’t do drugs—and forget what I said about … you know.”

I giggled. “Forgotten, don’t worry.”

“I meant weed, not hard drugs.”

“I didn’t makethatassumption,” I reassured him.

“I’d never touch that stuff again. It really messed me up.”

“I know.”

It sincerely saddened me that he had suffered from a drug addiction at one point in his life. I wished that I had the ability to swoop in and rescue him from self-destruction, but I couldn’t time travel. I was just glad he’d been able to get out of that nightmare alive. I wanted to comfort Noah and pull him out of the painful memories he was drowning in, so I turned on my side and curled up closer.

“No point dwelling on the past, right?” he said, keeping his eyes fixed on the ceiling.

“Nope. No point at all,” I answered, hugging his arm.

“We just have to learn from our mistakes and move forward.” He sounded tired, like he was exhausted from fighting whatever battle was going on inside his head. Noah was like a complicated Rubik’s cube. But then again, so was I.

“Was I a mistake?” I asked. That question didn’t come without hesitation.

He shifted his body and stared at me. “You—werenot—a mistake,” he said each word slowly, keeping his face serious. “I was the one who made the mistake of not being there for you from the beginning.” Noah eased his expression and gently caressed my cheek. “That guilt still eats me up every day.” There was a palpable pain in his eyes.

“I don’t hold a grudge against you, though,” I said. “All that matters is that you’re here now.” I was trying to comfort him with words, but I feared it wasn’t enough.

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