Page 85 of I Shouldn't Feel This Way

“GSA is very rare between people who have been raised together from early childhood. So yes, I believe that if she grew up with you, these sexual feelings would not have developed.”

I let out a tiresome sigh.

“Think about your sister for a moment.”

“Breanne?”

Grey nodded. “Are you attracted to her?”

I twisted my face in disgust. “God, no! She’s my sister! I mean, she’s beautiful, but I love her the way a brother should. Nothing more.”

Just the thought of categorizing her as a romantic interest made me want to puke.

“And that’s what I mean, Noah. You were raised together, so you both had the opportunity to develop that bond as siblings. You and Breanne grew up in a safe, conditioned environment where you learned appropriate social interactions within your family unit. Had you been separated at birth and crossed each other’s paths in adulthood, you would have never known you were related.”

It was difficult to imagine that scenario, but I knew what he was saying.

“How did you feel when you first saw Aria after seventeen years?” he asked.

I stared into space again and rewound to that November afternoon when I saw her in the courtroom. She was a vision of beauty. I was mesmerized.

“I …”

Doctor Grey said nothing and listened attentively.

How did I feel?I’d never really analyzed it, but now that I thought about it, she completely took my breath away.

“I felt like I had died and came back to life when she looked at me.” How poetically tragic. I couldn’t believe I’d said that.

“Were you aware of the physical attraction at that time?”

“No, absolutely not. These past five months have been great between me and Aria. It’s only recently that I feel like my world’s been flipped upside down,” I confessed.

“Hmm.” He tapped his fingers on his armchair before replying. “I believe that you were subconsciously aware of the attraction. You must have been suppressing it or choosing to ignore it when you reunited with her. There must be something that triggered the id to become more vocal and expressive in your mind.”

“Everything changed when she kissed me.”

“I am curious about how Aria feels regarding all this, especially since she’s been engaging you in sexually subtle ways.”

“Uh—I don’t know. I tried talking to her about it, but she doesn’t seem to want to acknowledge anything or communicate with me. I think she’s just confused.”

“It is possible indeed.” Doctor Grey nodded. “But I think you should consider a few important facts here. You mentioned that she’s had a turbulent relationship with her stepfather, so suffice to say that she doesn’t truly know what it’s like to have a real loving father figure in her life. When she met you, she had no idea who you were.

“The first judgments she made about you were based on first impressions. You are a young, attractive, successful man. It’s very probable that she felt attracted to you upon first glance and kept quiet about it. Maybe she felt like her white knight had come to her rescue, and as she got to know you better, she discovered that you have all the admirable attributes that she’s looked for in a potential mate. In some ways, Aria may very well idolize you.”

Idolize me? No way. Not possible,I thought.

“Who am I to be placed on such a high pedestal?” I said.

“You are her father, and that’s reason enough to place you so high above herself, including above other men. Is she dating? Do you allow her to date?”

“I’ve established some rules with her in regards to boys, but I didn’t forbid her to date. I just advised her to take it slow with love and relationships while she’s still in school.”

“And has she mentioned liking anyone in particular or brought anyone home for you to meet?”

“No.”

Grey nodded again as if he was making mental notes. “She could be infatuated with you.”

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