Page 42 of I Shouldn't Feel This Way

“Do you want us to call the police?”

“No, please don’t.” I didn’t want to get my mom in trouble. I wasthisclose to leaving this shithole. Tonight was my fault—I provoked Rob.

After apologizing to my neighbors, I ran out of their place and bolted down the hall. The elevator was taking forever to arrive, so I descended instead on what seemed to be an endless flight of stairs, until I reached a door at the bottom and pushed through it. A gust of wind hit my face as my feet finally hit the pavement.

Freedom, at last.

Racing away from my building, I stopped in an empty alleyway to catch my breath.

Hopefully Rob won’t come after me.

My breath was visible in the cold night air, and snowflakes were beginning to fall on my head. I pulled out my cellphone and tried Noah again. It rang and rang and went straight to voice mail. I was about to leave a message when technology decided to troll me. My cellphone had shut off.

Dammit! Battery’s dead!I cursed out loud and started walking. There was no way of reaching him now, unless a payphone magically appeared. Most of the payphones had been taken out in my neighborhood.

I stepped onto the street and signaled a taxi. My next destination was clear in my head.

CHAPTER TWELVE

NOAH

My evening was horrible. Just horrible. I’d had dinner with an old college friend from law school, Kevin Ikeda. He was Japanese American—a hilarious dude, and very smart. I mean, this guy graduated at the top of our class at Harvard. He had got in touch with me earlier during the day, offering me a job at his firm. I told him that I was happy with my position in LA, and was here only on personal business for the week. He insisted that we catch up over a celebratory dinner, since he’d been promoted to senior partner.

We dined at a high-end restaurant, discussing one of his cases—consumer products liability. The conversation was mostly work related and the food wasn’t the best, but that wasn’t what made my night so disastrous. What made it absolutely terrible was getting in my car and realizing that my cellphone had been on silent. There were two missed calls from Aria, and my heart dropped as soon as I read her text message. My daughter was in crisis and I hadn’t helped her. I had killed two hours like nothing was going on. I’d failed her when she needed me most. Immediately, I tried to call her back, but her cellphone was off. This only worried me more. Turning the ignition, I pulled out of parking and floored it to that prick’s apartment.

****

No one answered when I buzzed in at the lobby, and Aria’s phone was still off. I was about to call Emily when someone left through the lobby door, giving me the opportunity to slip inside. I took the elevator up, and as I rushed down the hall, I heard the dysfunctional pair arguing so loudly that the neighbors should have called the cops. My daughter was all I could think about as I pounded my fist on the door.

There was momentary silence, and then it unlocked. Emily looked like she had been crying. This was bad—really bad. I let myself inside and scanned the perimeter of the room. There was silence, which led me to believe that their kids weren’t home.

“Where’s Aria?” I asked.

Rob soon appeared out of the kitchen. “Who the fuck do you think you are, barging in uninvited?” He was a big guy all right. Big as in all his weight was in his belly. The man had a beer gut the size of a nine-months’-pregnant woman.

“Where is my daughter?” I ignored the fuckface and frantically searched the room. There was a door at the end of the hall that looked like it had been destroyed with a baseball bat.

“Noah!” Emily called out. “Noah, she’s gone!”

My whole world came crumbling down when I walked into Aria’s demolished bedroom. It was small. So very small. All her books had been thrown off her bookshelf, her laptop was smashed on the floor, and what angered me the most was when I read the words, “STUPID CUNT” spray painted in black all over the walls. That abusive asshole did this. The physical evidence was enough for me to orchestrate exactly what took place earlier. I felt like a criminal investigator, standing in a crime scene. All I needed was yellow tape and a forensics team. In this particular scenario, the noticeable difference between me and a detective was that I was incapable of keeping a level head.

Panicked, I leaned out the window, praying to God I wouldn’t find her body lying dead on the ground. I was relieved to see only a half-filled dumpster below, though it wasn’t enough to make my boiling rage simmer down.

“You motherfucking bastard!” Any ounce of civility I had went out the window as I strode past Emily and stormed off toward the coward. I was going to teach him a lesson he would never forget.

“Noah! Please, stop!”

I grabbed the SOB by the collar, pulled him into the closest bedroom and dodged his punch before I swung with my right fist. I smashed the bones on the left side of his face, and I couldn’t even feel the pain; all I could feel was fury. Swinging again, I punched him in the nose. The attack stunned him and allowed me the opportunity to strike a blow in his gut. He keeled over as I kicked him to the floor. I wasn’t satisfied yet, far from it. Unleashing my inner psycho, I got on top of him and punched his face in, alternating fists. My extensive training in boxing and martial arts gave me an advantage. This guy couldn’t throw a punch to save his life. It was easier for him to beat on a helpless female.

“You’re going to kill him!”

All I could see was black as Emily tried to push me off. I rose to my feet and circled the bastard like a vulture, yelling and disengaging my merciless madness on him. In no time at all, Rob’s face had become unrecognizable. He was bleeding profusely from both nostrils and mouth.

“Who’s a tough guy now, huh? You abusive fucker! This is the last time you ever see your wife and kids again!” I kicked him hard in the ribs in one direct blow before I repeatedly assaulted him.

“Stop!” Emily cried hysterically.

“Get the fuck out of the room, Em!” I was getting crazier by the second.

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