Page 147 of I Shouldn't Feel This Way

“Itisthe same, Noah. My point is, if I judged you, we wouldn’t have got this close.”

“Sometimes I wish you told me to go to hell and shut me out instead.”

“What do you mean?” I panicked. “Do you regret knowing me?” My heart sank in my chest. How could he say that?

“No, Aria.” He frowned. “I just mean that if I’d never come looking for you, your life would have progressed properly. You would have gone to college, got yourself a nice boyfriend, and …” Noah paused to collect his thoughts. “You wouldn’t be in this predicament with me. I feel responsible.”

“Is that what you label us as,a predicament?” I couldn’t help but take offense.

“No,” he replied, growing seemingly frustrated. “What we have isn’t normal. It doesn’t happen to everyone. Fathers and daughters aren’t supposed to feel this way about each other.”

“We’re not like other fathers and daughters. What we have is rare and special.” I reached out to touch the side of his face. “I didn’t want to fall in love with you, Noah. I knew it was wrong, and I tried so hard to get over these feelings, I really did, but it only intensified. After you kissed me, I knew for sure that you felt what I felt too.”

There was a calm quiet between us.

“Maybe we shouldn’t analyze all this tonight.” He gently took my hand and lowered it.

Please let me touch you,I begged. I guess I was overwhelming him. At this point, Noah was so hot and cold. I should have expected that, though.

“I’m not trying to analyze us,” I said. “I was talking about Evan.”

“Look, if I tell you that I’ll think about it, will you give the subject a rest for a while?”

How long was “a while” exactly? He was getting upset, and I didn’t want to make him angry, so I nodded and decided to be agreeable.

“Great. Thanks.”

I took a deep breath and settled in my seat. The weather had got a little cooler and windier. I rubbed my arms.

“Are you cold?” Noah asked.

“No, I’m fine.”

“Come here.” He adjusted his seat back a little more.

“Um, where?” I stared at him.

“On my lap.”

Did I hear that right?I was hesitant at first, but eventually shifted over. My heart was working harder than usual, as I sat astride his lap, facing him. If Noah was a pharaoh, then I was his submissive concubine. I didn’t care how that sounded. It was hot in my mind. I would have done anything he wanted.

His fingertips found their way up my arms, gently brushing my cool, soft skin in slow motion. The heat from his hands instantly warmed me up. I felt like I was sitting near a furnace as soon as he touched me. We were shrouded in darkness, but knowing Noah, he most likely had night vision. Yes, I was still holding on to my delusional fantasy about him being a semi-supernatural being. Although I still wasn’t sure what the nonhuman species was. Perhaps a wolf or a vampire. I knew that it was impossible. I swear I wasn’t aTwihard. However, I did think the vampires and lycans fromUnderworldwere pretty darn awesome.

The song ended and the stereo switched tracks to something more chill-casual. The beat was hot, and even though the music wasn’t as loud as when we were driving, the bass was on high. I could feel Noah’s blazing blue eyes on me, and as much as I wanted to hold his gaze, I couldn’t. Sitting so intimately in his lap like this caused a desire to stir in the pit of my stomach. I started to fidget with the edge of his shirt while he continued to affectionately rub my arms.

“What are you thinking?” he asked.

“Nothing.” I shrugged and smiled a bit. “Just enjoying my time with you.”

“I know you, Aria. Tell me what’s on your mind, I’m curious.” He let go of my arms and placed his hands on my hips. I trembled in reaction and straightened my posture.

“Are you really that cold?”

“No, I’m …” Well, this was embarrassing. “You just make me shiver when you …” I fumbled with my words.

“When I what?” He gripped my waist a little tighter.

“When … when you …” At last, I met his eyes.

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