Page 140 of I Shouldn't Feel This Way

I threw one last punch, growling my frustration.

Using my teeth, I ripped off the Velcro straps around my wrists and removed the gloves. What the fuck was I doing? I wasn’t thinking rationally. I was cheating on my wife with my daughter. You can’t get any sicker than that.

You’re not in love with Blondie anymore.

I was the world’s most fucked-up human being. The guilt was all-consuming. Why did Evan have to show up at my doorstep? After all these years, why now?

I suggest you let me out before you lose her. I’m getting restless in here, Noah. Let me out to play, just for the evening.

I found myself negotiating with the darkest part of me as I tried to rationalize and stay in control. But that didn’t last very long. I pulled off my shirt and squirted cold water on my head from my water bottle.

Come on, you know you want to.

For a brief moment, I stood there in silence, breathing out until I was at a normal resting heart rate.

Decisions, decisions …

“Fuck it.” I sounded so unyielding, and just like that, I walked out and headed upstairs to shower.

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

aria

All my life, all I ever wanted was to have a father who truly loved me enough to protect me. Rob had failed in that respect, and now that Noah was trying to shelter me from harm, I wanted nothing more than for him to back off. Be careful what you wish for, right? I wasn’t sure why I felt so upset. I mean, Noah had a point—I had no idea who Evan was. The only information I had discovered about my uncle was that he had a troubled youth. His back story wasn’t all that great. But when I met him, his eyes betrayed a warm and gentle nature that contradicted his notorious reputation. They didn’t exactly possess the same intimidating intensity as Noah’s eyes—then again, maybe Noah was just subtle about his badass qualities, whereas Evan was more out there. I knew Noah wasn’t a saint, but he certainly went out of his way to be on his best behavior around me. I think he was trying to set a good example, being my “father”and all.

I hadn’t wanted that altercation to happen in the first place. Arguments were never fun. I genuinely wanted to get to know my uncle better. I was sure there was lots he could tell me about Noah, since Noah wasn’t willing to share himself. It sucked. Living with my mom and stepdad had been no picnic. No one on Rob’s side of the family was interesting or nice. Evan was surprisingly sweet to me. I guess I just wanted more family involved in my life. The fact that he was adopted didn’t matter. I could only imagine how ostracized he felt growing up. In a lot of ways, I could relate.

My iPod shut off and I was about to charge it when there was a loud knock on my door. It kind of startled me.

“Let me in, Aria.”

It washim.

“That sounds like an order, Noah.” I threw my legs over the edge of my bed and stood up.

“It is. Now stop being a smart-ass and open the damn door.”

Was it wrong of me to feel suddenly aroused? I swear it was like he gave off sex pheromones through the wall or something. I took a couple of steps closer and slowly pressed my palms against the door.

“Aria, don’t make me wait,” he said exhaustedly.

Closing my eyes, I tried to visualize him standing on the other end: I could see him leaning his weight against the door frame. He had just showered and I could smell him—his cologne, Axe shower gel …

“Why don’t you ask me nicely?” I said.

I wasn’t sure why I was giving him such a hard time.

Because you enjoy pushing his buttons,my subconscious answered.

“I was hoping you wouldn’t force me to do this,” he said.

Seconds later, I took a step back and gasped when he twisted the doorknob and broke the lock with brute strength. The door slowly creaked open, and in walked one very pissed-off hottie.

“You … you broke my lock.”

Noah stepped forward, standing tall over me.

“I can fix it. However”—he paused and intensified his stare—“I won’t replace it. It’s hard enough getting inside your titanium fortress. I don’t like the idea of locked doors getting between us.”

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