Page 137 of I Shouldn't Feel This Way

Oh.Thatconversation. That same evening, literally, minutes before Dad’s death, our father had told me that he had changed his will and made me CEO. I’d been walking in the woods by his side and I had told him that I thought it was best if Isaac took over, but Dad insisted that I was his first choice all along, and that he had only chose Evan because he’d hoped it would give him incentive to change.

“Do you remember now? Need I say more?”

I stared at Evan, expressionless.

“You guys always thought less of me because I wasn’t really part of the family. I was always the outsider, the bad seed, so I eventually gave up and lived up to everyone’s expectation of me.”

“Stop it, Evan. Why can’t you come to terms with your adoption? You were always up to no good—and no matter how much we tried to help, you never listened. My animosity toward you has nothing to do with the fact that you were adopted. You’ve had a history of behavioral problems. I thinkyouwere the one who had difficulty accepting yourself—you still do.”

“I always felt like a failure compared to you and Isaac. You knocked your girlfriend up at sixteen and youstillmanaged to never fall from grace. You were always the golden boy, while I was the pitiful, undeserving, lowlife.”

Christ, look at all that pent-up rage.Evan and I were so alike in our temperament. Maybe that’s why we never got along—we were constantly clashing. As a child, I was used to being the youngest, spoiled with all the attention. When he joined our family, Evan was four, and I was twelve. I resented him at first, but that slowly went away as I grew up. I think he looked up to me in my teen years, but I was too busy with other things to hang out with him. By that time, Isaac and Breanne were out on their own, building their futures. Maybe that was what screwed him up so much: the family pressure, expectations, and loneliness. There was always mayhem and discord at the Hunter mansion.

Evan had messed up so much throughout the years—it was difficult for me to forgive and forget. I’d taken Dad’s death very badly. The aftermath of his passing burned a bridge between me and my brother. Isaac was never close to him. As for Breanne, I had no clue what her relationship with Evan was like. Our mother was the only one who always had a soft spot for him, despite his continuous dickish behavior. I’d had to beg her not to talk about him when I brought Vanessa home to meet my family for the first time. We were all estranged from him ever since he left for college. Mom stayed in contact with Evan regularly, and wanted to invite him to the wedding. I was afraid he would show up at the reception hall and set fire to the place, no joke. He’d been a pyromaniac ever since I could remember. We had some things in common, in that we were reckless and irresponsible. The difference was that I had got my act together and he hadn’t.

“Let’s skip going down memory lane, shall we?” I stated. “It clearly brings out the worst in both of us.” Evan sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “So I’m going to ask you again: What are you doing here, and what do you want from me?”

“I’ve been living in LA for a couple months now,” he said, “because of my job. I’ve got some huge renovation projects going on in a few houses. Breanne and I have been keeping in touch, and yesterday I asked her about you. She told me you were living here, so I thought I’d drop in and see how you were doing. It’s been too long since we last saw each other. I was kind of hoping my years of karmic bad luck would be over and done with.”

Leave it to our sister to feel sorry for him and go against my wishes.

“You’re an architect now?” I asked.

“Um … no, not exactly.” He looked at me all uneasy, rubbing the back of his neck. “After I flunked out of school, I decided to get into a trade—got myself an apprenticeship, and now I’m a skilled carpenter. I can build you just about anything. I spent a year in Haiti building houses and a school in one of the village communities.”

Well, I’ll be damned.“Impressive,” I said.

And here I’d thought he was squandering his inheritance away in Vegas.

“Nah, not really, just doing what I love.” Evan smiled as I stared impassively back at him. “By the way, you have a very beautiful daughter.”

“Stay away from her—I mean it.”

“I’ve only just met her.”

“And you’re not going to get to know her any better.”

“Why won’t you give me a chance? Why does everyone in our family have to paint me as the fucked-up spawn of Satan?”

“We never painted you that way. You did a great job at fucking up your own reputation all by yourself.”

“I’m human as much as you are—we all make mistakes.”

“And we learn from them. I know your pattern. You’re unreliable, untrustworthy, and there’s no way I’m going to allow Aria to be around you.”

“Is this about me flirting with her earlier? Look, I honestly didn’t know she was your daughter. We haven’t been on speaking terms in years, Noah. How was I to know that you had got in touch with her again? I thought she was your wife—and I was only kidding around with the flirtation.”

Kidding around, my ass!

“You only bring bad news everywhere you go,” I said. “Pains me to say it, but it’s true. There’s no reason for us to reconcile, and I refuse to let you in my daughter’s life.”

I had to protect her. That was my responsibility as her father.

You didn’t protect her from yourself last night.The guilt hit me like a ton of bricks.

Aria suddenly stormed into the room. “Don’t you think that should be my decision to make?”

Was she listening in on our conversation this entire time?

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