Page 125 of I Shouldn't Feel This Way

“I understand that you were young and that you weren’t aware of the consequences, but Noah and Aria are naturally affectionate with one another. I’ve seen her kiss him on the cheek countless times, even quick pecks on the lips. It’s all very innocent. We used to give Daddy little kisses on the lips. That’s not so weird in my eyes.”

“We were toddlers, Nessa! Aria’s an adult!”

“My husband would never be unfaithful to me.” Vanessa adamantly shook her head, refusing to listen. “He’s an honorable, high-minded man. He’snotCousin Tom.”

“Are you not hearing me properly? I know what I saw! It was full-on tonsil hockey!”

“Stop it!” Vanessa huffed in frustration. “This is Christmas of ’03 all over again.”

“No, it’s not,” argued Vienna.

“This isn’t the first time you’ve accused other family members of having incestuous relationships. Remember what happened that year when you came home for the holidays?”

Vienna had been checked into a psychiatric hospital for six months after her parents found out about her and Tom. They had forbidden her from ever seeing him again, and she had got so depressed that she had attempted to take her life. Sending her away to receive proper psychiatric care had seemed like the only solution to restore her mental health.

Vienna’s silence allowed Vanessa to continue. “You accused Uncle Lenny and our cousin Jenna of having an affair.”

“They were always so close and affectionate. It wasn’t normal in my eyes, okay? Therapy made me extremely sensitive to the whole good touch, bad touchrule.”

“They hugged a lot, and you obsessed over it just because she was fond of him. I know they were only three years apart in age, but you always justified their alleged affair in sick ways! And then, of course, the entire family eventually found out that Uncle Lenny was actually gay, and the only person who knew that was Jenna. They were like best friends, and you accused them of being incestuous lovers. You were wrong then, and you are wrong now.”

“Stop treating me like a mental patient!” Vienna cried out. “I know I was messed in the head for a while, but I was young and victimized by our sicko cousin. Thank God he’s in jail now. I knew that bastard was bound to fuck up and get caught.”

These secrets were too ugly and humiliating for Vanessa to have opened up and shared them with Noah. Her family had conveniently dusted it all under the rug, and had not pressed charges against Tom because of the shame it would have brought upon the family. Instead, they’d moved away and placed Vienna in the hands of psychiatrists to deal with the problem.

Unlike her sister, Vanessa had deceived herself and everyone close to her, making them believe that she had the best childhood. She had painted a picture-perfect family, when in reality, behind the portrait was a rotting canvas covered in maggots.

“Please, listen to me,” Vienna insisted. “It wasn’t a quick peck on the lips. They were kissing like …” She paused and dug her fingers through her hair in distress. “Like lovers! Nessa, youneedto confront him about this.”

“I’m not going to confront my husband with these ridiculous accusations!”

“Fine, if you won’t, then I will!”

“Like hell you will! I can’t believe you’re trying to sabotage yet another relationship of mine. You just can’t stand to see me happy, can you? You resent me deep down inside because I was always Mom and Dad’s favorite, and you were labeledthe disgrace. You need to get over those years, Vienna! We’re not rivaling teenagers anymore!”

“How the hell can you say that to me?”

“When will your jealousy ever end?”

“Jealousy?” Vienna could hardly believe her ears.

“You’re envious of my lifestyle. Look around you”—Vanessa held out her arms—“and compare it to your ordinary life. Don’t think for a second that I haven’t noticed the way you’ve been eyeing Noah throughout your little visit with us.”

“I’ve been watching him and Aria, you bitch! I’m not a homewrecker!” Vienna could no longer hold back her explosive temper. “Open your damn eyes and watch the way they interact with each other. All the signs are there. You are so blind! I’m not jealous! Why should I be jealous of you? You’ve totally fucked up your face and body. At least everything on me is real!” she blasted, secretly hoping that Noah would barge in.

Both of them had crossed the line as they argued back and forth until Vanessa sadly said, “We can never get along, can we?”

Vienna didn’t respond.

“I want you to let this go,” Vanessa continued. “Let go of this sick obsession you have with playing undercover detective, and act normal, please! Don’t embarrass me or yourself by getting in a fight with Noah about this. It will not go down well. If you can’t respect my wishes, then I think it would be best if you stayed at a hotel tonight.”

“I never expected you to have this sort of reaction, Nessa. I’ve got over our issues in the past, but it seems you haven’t. I felt you had a right to know because I don’t want you to spend the rest of your life with a man who’s not all he says he is.”

“You are unquestionably ill, Vienna!” Vanessa exclaimed in disgust. She breathed out her anger. Once she was calm, she lowered her voice and spoke in a gentler tone. “Maybe I shouldn’t even be mad at you. It’s not your fault. Tom really did a number on you.”

Vanessa’s remark was enough to trigger Vienna’s dynamite temper. “Shut up! Please just shut your mouth before I rip your extensions out of your scalp!”

Vanessa frowned, horrified by her sister’s sudden hostility and threats. “Keep your voice down!”

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