Page 68 of The Truth Between

But one thing was clear in my mind: there was no getting rid of Iris from my brain, at least not anytime soon. Everything within me had decided that I needed to see her, to try and mend the hatred she obviously had for me. Not that those feelings weren’t warranted because she had every reason to hate me.

I turned on my laptop and began to type. There were calls to make, people to contact, and a plan to formulate. I would stay away from her for the time being, but what she didn’t know was that I would move heaven and earth to be with her. This time, the game I was playing was for keeps, no matter how long it took for me to win.

41

IRIS

The brisk chill of the morning air that wrapped around me was more than unwelcome as I stepped out of Payne Hall. Things were much different since the last time I’d been on campus. Since the turmoil at the Chevalier Headquarters, my life had fallen back into some version of normalcy.

I’d spent the rest of the winter break at home with Gran and enjoyed every moment with her. I enjoyed soaking up her hugs and homemade food. It was wonderful to be with her after everything that happened. To tell her what I had found out and what I’d forced the chairman of the Chevaliers to promise he would do.

She was overjoyed because I’d kept most of the dark and sinister things that I’d gone through to myself. I didn’t want to cause her to worry any more than she already did, but even I could sense that she knew that something had changed within me. Everything had shifted.

I found my thoughts drifting toward Soren more often than I’d like. He loomed in my mind like a shadow, even though I hadn’t seen him since he’d followed me to Gran’s house after the showdown at the Chevalier Headquarters. It was a welcome reprieve, but there was still something missing in my life that only he filled. Deep down, I knew I needed to find someone who could help me work through all of the emotions and trauma I’d gone through, but I hadn’t made the leap to do so yet.

Reflecting on everything that had transpired, I realized how these events had reshaped me. I was not the same person who had walked these halls at the start of the school year. The innocent belief I had about how I was going to find Eddison Payne’s papers and prove that my ancestor, Margaret Turner, was involved in the founding of the Chevaliers seemed like a distant memory. I had been transformed and been through an awakening of who I was as a person that I didn’t expect.

I yanked my coat tighter, wishing I’d remembered to wrap a scarf around my neck. There wasn’t much of a need to worry about it though, because soon I was going to be in the warmth of another academic building, settling down before the start of my first class for the day. Other students rushed past me, their expressions showing their focus on where they needed to be.

“Miss Bennington.”

My heart stuttered at the sound of his voice, but it wasn’t from fear. Soren stood several feet in front of me, and it immediately reminded me of when we met for the first time. His presence commanded attention, and I could see some people glancing at him as they walked by the two of us. His dark-brown hair was tousled, and the darkness that made up his eyes held an unfamiliar vulnerability. The sight of him stirred something deep within me, but I couldn’t pinpoint what it was.

“Professor Grant,” I said, proud of myself for getting over the shock as quick as I did. I decided to keep it professional on Westwick’s campus, just in case anyone was listening to us talk. Was he even still a professor here? “What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to talk to you.”

Of course he didn’t ask to talk to me. It was as if he was demanding that I did. I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. “Hell of a time you picked; I’m on my way to my first class,” I said as I made up the distance between us and walked past him. He didn’t waste any time in catching up with me, matching his stride with mine.

I scanned the area to see if anyone was paying attention to us, but everyone seemed to be focused on themselves. Even in the crowd, turmoil grew inside of me the longer I was in his presence. Part of me wanted to tell him to fuck all the way off and leave me alone, but the other part was curious about what he wanted to say.

“You’re going to have to speak quickly because I’m on my way to class and refuse to be late because of… this.” There was an edge to my voice that wasn’t normally there, but I didn’t care. Soren approached me without giving me any warning, so he was going to get whatever version of me that he was going to get.

He hesitated for a moment before he spoke to me. “I wanted to apologize for everything because I want to move forward.”

“Move forward? Apologize?” My pulse quickened, and I couldn’t stop the bitter laugh that escaped my lips. “For what exactly? Stalking me? Kidnapping me?”

“Please, petal.” His voice was low but stern. I could hear the beginnings of a plea in his tone, but it wasn’t quite there. “I need you to understand—”

His using the nickname he’d given me was almost my undoing, but I managed to keep it together. “Understand?” My tone was sharp, biting. “You can’t be serious right now.”

“I know I have no right to ask for your forgiveness, but I need you to know how deeply sorry I am for what I’ve done, although I don’t regret a second of it. I know the trauma it caused you, but there were numerous reasons why I did what I did. If the circumstances were the same, I would do it again. I’m hoping that by confessing this and apologizing, we can start fresh.”

His words struck me like a blow, stirring up memories I had tried so hard to bury. Images of him breaking into my room, me walking into one of my classes and discovering that he was now my professor, seeing him at Chevalier Manor and him kidnapping me and taking me to his house. More importantly, the time things shifted between us over the holidays. But the latter memories were tainted by the things he’d done to manipulate me to do what he wanted during this situationship.

“Start fresh?” I echoed bitterly, my voice barely audible. “How can we have a fresh start when everything between us is built on lies?”

Soren’s jaw clenched, and for a moment, I thought he would argue. Instead, he let out a shaky breath, and it was the first time I’d ever noticed him seeming unsure of himself. “I don’t expect you to trust me right away or to accept my apology. But give me a chance to prove myself to you.”

This sounded ridiculous. “Prove yourself? Soren, do you even understand what you’re asking for?” Any sense of professionalism had gone out the window. The words that were sitting on the tip of my tongue were going to hurt him more than they could ever hurt me. Because now, I was speaking my truth. “Do you not understand how many times you violated me? All you cared about was getting your way and what you wanted. Nothing about me. And I deserve to have someone who will give me that and more. You haven’t shown through your actions that you will be able to do that, and that’s not even counting the heinous things you’ve done to me.”

Before Soren could utter another word, I released a big sigh and turned to face him, stopping us both in our tracks. “I’ve seen sides of you that I can’t just forget. You’ve hurt me, and it’s not something that can be erased with a few apologies or promises to do better.”

He nodded, seeming to accept my words, but I wasn’t sure what to believe. “Even if you don’t forgive me, I can’t stand the thought of not trying to make things right. Not when I care about you as much as I do.”

His admission hung between us, and I wasn’t sure what to think of it. Once again, I thought about everything he’d done to make me feel more at home during what should have been a time I would have been spending with Gran, but it wasn’t enough. Too much had happened for me to sweep it under the rug, even though a part of me wanted to see where this might go with him.

“Care about me?” I questioned, a hint of sarcasm creeping into my voice. “Soren, caring about someone means respecting them, understanding them, listening to what they want and need. Can you honestly say you’ve done that?”

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