Page 56 of The Players

Now that she had “freed” herself from her self-imposed cage, she felt like she could handle the world again. It had been two days since her mental breakdown. She had used that time to come to grips with what had happened. They had used their session to make her feel safe and cared for, but also so she would spill her beans. It was a great reminder of how ruthless they could be.

Meanwhile, her mind was a chaotic mess, trying to figure out what to do about her situation. Sy had left to a destination unknown. She knew not to ask. It was Vince she was most worried about though. Now that he believed Franco had taken her to the Red Velvet and someone was using that knowledge to blackmail her, he wouldn’t let it go.

She jumped underneath the scalding hot water, imagining it washed away her biggest sin. It didn’t take long before she bumped into rock-hard abs.

“Turn around.”

Vince eyed her, holding a bottle of shampoo. She closed her eyes and let him wash and rinse her hair. His fingers massaged her scalp, then he went to her shoulders, easing away the tension that had built up there.

Strong hands fell from her shoulders to caress her breasts, playing with her nipples, steaming up the shower.

“Put your hands against the wall,” Vince whispered before trailing his lips down her throat. He grabbed her hips and slid inside. He rocked her against the wall in a slow burn.

“Don’t let me go.” The words left her lips before she could stop them.

“Never,” he promised.

Except, it was an empty one. Hadn’t he let her go once already?

That was a decade ago. Get over it.

Sometimes she hated her inner voice. Except, in this case, it might be right. Truth was, she didn’t know the man he had become. Vince Detta was nothing like her kind and sweet Vincenzo. He was a man now. And like all men in the life, he took what he wanted when he wanted. He also protected what he considered his, and right now, that was her.

Being protected and cared for by two dominant men was a dream come true, yet at the same time, immensely inconvenient when she wanted to leave the house. There was no sneaking out of the apartment. There was always someone in the back following her. Even if she could, on the way down, there were two hulking men guarding the property. Of course, she wasn’t unfamiliar with the way things went in their world. She did know, however, that after the other night, she had to take action. In a short time, both Sy and Vince had found a place in her heart, no matter how much she wanted to tell herself it was just sex. Of course, they could never know about what else happened at Red Velvet. They would be so disappointed in her.

Another thing she didn't particularly wanted to share was where she needed to go tonight. It was the last Friday of the month and every fiber of her being urged her to take her monthly trip. She just didn't know how to sneak out of the apartment unnoticed.

She put on some clothes, and as she went downstairs, contemplated what to tell Vince.

He eyed her curiously from his place on the couch, where he was watching sports.

“Getting ready for a late-night stroll?”

“I need you to take me somewhere.”

When he saw she was serious, he stood. “Where to?”

“I’ll tell you in the car.” She wasn’t sure he’d let her out if he knew her intended destination.

Pleased that he didn’t pressure her for an answer, she relaxed and sunk into the comfy passenger seat. When she told him where to go, he tensed, but didn’t say anything.

Half an hour later, he parked in front of the old cemetery. The place where Franco was buried. The place where Vince had promised to meet her a decade ago. In a way, it was the site where she had once believed her dreams, a new future, would begin. Instead, it was where her passed got buried, literally.

A familiar bead of sweat formed on her forehead. At this time of night, when the sun had disappeared and made place for dark clouds, she practically had the place for herself. It didn’t make it any easier than the last times she’d been here.

“Could you please wait in—”

“Not a chance.” Vince got out of the car, walked over to her door, and opened it.

So much for doing this without any witnesses. Her stomach lurched and her palms got all clammy. Then Vince grabbed a hold of her hand. His touch was warm and comforting. And this time, when she walked up to Franco’s grave, her feet didn’t drag. There was no fear his ghost would emerge from the grave to haunt her. Vince stood rock solid next to her, holding her hand, a hard expression on his face as he stared at Franco’s headstone. They stood there, silently, for long minutes, as Carmen gathered her courage.

“I come here once a month. To tell him how I feel. To tell him that he didn’t break me. That I’m still standing.” She breathed out as the tension slowly left her body. “Sometimes I yell. Other times, I curse him. It’s not exactly the kind of language suitable for normal people visiting their loved ones, so I come late at night when the place is empty. The other night, I realized that I was deluding myself. I wasn’t really free from him. Not as long as I come here to tell him that I am. I mean, why would I need to prove my newfound freedom to a gravestone if I were really free? It’s silly, really.”

He gave her hand a light squeeze. “It’s human.”

“I don’t want to be that human anymore. The angry, vengeful one that gets easily spooked, and sometimes feels like she’s losing her marbles. I refuse to be that person. But most of all, I don’t want to be afraid anymore, like I was with Franco all the time.” That was back then. Now, her fears had found other things to latch on. The fear she would fail in her mission to find Marni. The fear she would disappoint Vince and Sy.

“You can tell me anything, you know.”

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