Page 99 of Mine For The Winter

She couldn’t let Kris hurt him, too.

“So what are you going to do?” Amber asked her. “Because from where I’m standing Cole is already getting attached.”

“I don’t know.” That was the honest answer. Since Kris had come home it was like her whole life had become a rollercoaster after trundling along on old straight tracks for the longest of times.

It was exhilarating. And scary.

“Maybe you should trust him,” Amber said.

And wasn’t that the scariest thought of all? Because what if he broke her again?

* * *

Kelly, age 23

The screaming pushed through her dreams, pulling her out of them, making her sit up fast as she looked around.

The action made her stitches pull so tight she audibly groaned, even though the baby was the only one to hear her.

Cole, she reminded herself. She’d spent the whole time he was growing inside of her calling him ‘the baby’. It was a bad habit she needed to break.

As though he could sense her thoughts, Cole screamed again, and she reached across the bed to pull him out of the crib.

And something tore.

“Shit!” A tear rolled down her face. Smelling the milk on her, Cole started to scream louder, his face red and angry.

“Lyle?”

No answer. Of course there wasn’t. Since she’d come home with Cole last week he’d barely been here. Her dad had been by to help, and people had left casseroles and gifts at the door, but it was just her and the baby.

And she had no idea what she was doing.

Lifting her nightgown, she put Cole to her breast, wincing, because that hurt, too. His tears dried up as hers continued to roll down her face.

She had no idea what she was doing. She had no right to bring a baby into the world. No wonder Cole hated her.

Cole’s sucking slowed as he finally got his fill, his eyes drooping until they were closed. Kelly let out a long breath, still holding him with one hand, using her other to lift the covers to check her abdomen.

The skin around her incision had gotten infected. She’d had to make an urgent visit with the doctor which had cost even more money. Money she didn’t have.

Cole let out a long sigh and she tried to push the fear away.

She had to be strong for him. He was all she had. Her and her dad, and maybe the few friends she had left.

But not the one you need.

She tried to blink that thought away, too. Because this one cut like a knife. Felt worse than any pulled stitch she could have.

And because she was a masochist she looked at her phone. There it was, his last message. Unanswered like the rest.

I hear you had a son. Congratulations. You’ll make the best mom. – Kris.

Above it were other unanswered texts. One telling her he’d found somewhere to live in England. One telling her he missed her. And more asking about her pregnancy, about Lyle, about stupid stuff that made her feel so wistful it hurt.

But she hadn’t replied. She couldn’t. She’d chosen Lyle.

And Kris had chosen to leave.

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