Page 126 of Mine For The Winter

“I told Lyle that I wanted to ask you to prom.”

“You did?”

He nodded. “And he said I couldn’t. Not if we all wanted to be friends. And I got that. He would have been left out. I would have hated that. So we shook on it. Neither of us would see you as anything other than a friend.”

“But I would have said yes.”

His eyes caught hers.

“I was in love with you. Didn’t you know that?” she asked him. “I used to follow you around like a damn puppy dog.”

“I didn’t know. I thought…” He shook his head. “I came home from college and I’d missed you so damn much. I’d decided I needed to talk to Lyle and tell him enough was enough. We were grown ups, we could all stay friends and you and I…”

“You and I…” she prompted.

“Could have gotten together. But when I came back everything had changed. You and Lyle were an item. I was too late.”

Her eyes didn’t leave his. “When you left I felt so alone. And Lyle kept telling me about all the girls you were seeing. What a great time you were having. I was so lonely and sad and Lyle… he told me he was in love with me. I was an idiot. I was afraid of losing him like I lost you.”

“I don’t blame you. I was the one who should have said something earlier.”

“And Lyle broke your pact,” she said, frowning, as though she was realizing what a betrayal that was.

“Yeah. He did.”

“Why didn’t you say anything then?” she asked. “If he’d broken it, you could have too.”

“Because I thought you were happy. That you loved him. I wouldn’t have come between you. I loved you both.”

She ran her tongue over her dry lip. “What a waste. All that time.” She looked so sad and he hated it. Hated knowing what they’d lost. And yes, they had now. That was wonderful.

But if he’d been a braver kid, things would have been so different.

He breathed out. “I thought about telling you. I came close that night when I asked you to leave with me.”

“But then I told you I was pregnant.”

“Yeah. And that wasn’t the time to admit anything to you. You had enough to deal with. You didn’t need my emo bullshit. I knew that much, at least.”

She reached up to trace his jaw with her finger. Her touch felt so good it made him sigh.

“But I don’t understand why you didn’t tell me once we were together. Now?”

“Honestly?” He trapped her hand under his, pressing it against his face. “I didn’t think about it. I barely thought about Lyle. These past few weeks have just been about us. And Cole, nobody else.”

“I feel…” She pressed her lips together, as though trying to find the right words. “Sad. For the girl I was. Wistful.”

“Yeah, I get that. I feel sad, too.”

“And I don’t know what to do with those feelings,” she told him. “I want to shout at somebody. Blame somebody. Lyle maybe. Or you. You made a decision about me that I wasn’t part of.”

“I know. And we shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry.”

“I can’t help but think of what if…”

He let go of her hand, reaching for her. Sitting on the end of her bed, he pulled her toward him, pressing his face into her stomach.

“I’m glad it didn’t happen then,” he told her.

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