Page 91 of Ghoul as a Cucumber

“It was all Pax’s scheme,” Edward says. “Will you castrate him? I’d like to watch.”

“Are you kidding?” I gesture to Pax’s crotch. “Castrating such a fine beanstalk is a crime against humanity. You are all amazing. You…I can’t believe you care about this house as much as I do.”

“We don’t care about the house,” Pax growls.

“Speak for yourself,” Ambrose pipes up. “I quite like this place.”

“After four centuries in this dump, I’d happily see it burn to the ground,” Edward drawls. “We didn’t do it for Grimwood. We did it for you, Brianna.”

A warm feeling starts in my heart and spreads through my whole body, right down to my toes. No matter what happens, these three are always looking out for me.

I’m so incredibly lucky to have them.

“You…” A lump forms in my throat. I have to swallow twice to get the words out. “Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank us,” Pax says. “We’re here to look after you. Always.”

Pax moves forward with lightning speed, capturing me in his arms. His hand circles my neck, tilting my head up, and his lips capture mine.

Something about this kiss is different.

It might be the way that he’s looking down at me, his pale eyes so open and sincere. Or it might be the way he holds me, as if I am something precious that might shatter beneath his touch, never to be put right again.

No. It’s the way his kiss has become soft, tender, as if he is speaking to me in some ancient, dead language that can only communicate with shared breath. And the words he is saying seem like desperate foolish words of love.

Pax breaks away and throws a look over his shoulder at Edward. “Am I doing it right?”

“You are a perfect student.” Edward bows his head.

“What’s going on?”

But my curiosity is cut off when Pax pulls me in again. He walks me back until my knees hit the edge of the bed. I sit down, pulling him down with me.

Our bodies move together as he undresses me, all the while kissing me in this slow and painfully beautiful way, his eyes never leaving mine. The silver cords shimmer around us, reminding me that he is here, and real, and mine.

And yet somehow, I’m not sure I have truly known Pax until this moment. In his eyes, I see myself as he sees me, and it frightens me how much he cares for me and the things he would do to keep me safe. He’s trying to tell me with the sweet brush of his lips that he will fight for me, but I don’t think I’m worth a warrior’s final stand.

What he’s doing to me now…this isn’t his usual frenzied fucking. This is something else. Something…intimate.

“Remember when I told you I would wait for you?” he whispers against my lips. “I meant it. I will wait until the gods destroy the earth for you to love me the way I love you.”

“Pax…”

“I want to be your boyfriend. I want to take you to moving pictures and be on your pub quiz team and grow old and grey together. I want to teach you how to use your sword and carve up our enemies together. Most of all, I want to hear the beautiful words, ‘I love you,’ fall from your lips. But I will wait.”

“Please…” I whisper, although I don’t know what I’m asking.

Please stop.

Please don’t stop.

Please don’t love me.

Please love me until your dying breath.

“Pax came to me for a lesson,” Edward says as he lies down beside me. “He wanted to learn how to make love to a woman like a poet, instead of simply fucking them into oblivion like a warrior. That is what he’s doing.”

“Edward gave me a speech to remember,” Pax says as his finger strokes my breast. “But I forgot it. Besides, it was his words, not mine.”

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